the babbling of brooke

a new place

2010-10-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

So. We live in Virginia. The northern part very close to D.C. And we have for about a month now.

Josh has taken a preaching minister position here, which is what brought us to the area. The church is loving, friendly, quirky, colorful, creative, transient, diverse, fun, active, and just pretty great all around. We have felt welcomed and made it feel at home.

So you know that feeling on vacation where you like being somewhere but you are also ready to get back to your normal life? That's kinda where I am. Because although I was thrilled with our offer to come here and am having a great time, the Memphis life was known. This is unknown. Becoming more "known" of course every day, but still -- I don't know how to work this thermostat in my house, I don't know what the trash people will take if I set it out, I don't know where the post office is (just found it today), I don't know where they keep frozen chicken in our new grocery (still don't) and I don't know the alarm code for the church building of which I am now a key owner (set it off this week).

At Sophie's school, I am still kind of unclear on the protocol. Juice box or water, hot dogs allowed?, can I come in and say goodbye or am I supposed to do that in the hallway. Today was a Halloween event and I was just trying to follow the other parents and see what they did. Felt like the new kid.

I also have a new job. I work for a tutoring services company . (No, I am not bright enough to be a tutor.) Like it. Still new though and I hate having to ask questions all the time. It makes me grumpy to not know the answers. Old job, I knew the answers; in fact my former co-workers still call me to ask me things about my computer or how to get the printer to work. Ten years into a job you aren't really asking other people questions about how to do it, you know?

But, it is humbling and stretching and all of that, which I am sure God thinks is a good idea for me. I do too in theory. :) It has certainly been fun to explore and find new parks and to ride the Metro and to eat at really great restaurants and meet people from literally all over the world. We have found places to jump in and serve in our church community and already I can see that God is going to use us here. Our little family has really bonded as we've tried out the new.

Hopefully we will make it to a tourist attraction before it gets too cold! So far we have been to the city twice but haven't hit any of the big ones. Where to start is the question?

The first time we saw her picture

2010-04-03T12:10:00.000-07:00

On April 5, 2007 we received a call from CHSFS (our agency) saying we had a referral. This is basically a "match". They said to get on our email and so we did, at the same time, from our offices. It said:

Hello Josh and Brooke,
Here is the referral information for Yenenesh! I've included her complete referral as well as the referral acceptance paperwork if you decide to accept the referral. I've attached both the word document and PDF formats in case you have trouble opening them. Thank you and congratulations!!

And this picture:

Three years later:

Being an idiot and being a parent

2010-03-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I act like an idiot. I forget that my kid is just a person and any person can, make that WILL, mess up, especially when she has gone through an excessively crazy weekend.

Let me back up. Early in the wee hours of Sunday morning, I realized I was sick. Yucky, nasty, gross, sick with a stomach bug of some sort. It was a morning that Josh happened to be preaching, which usually means I am on my own for getting Sophie and myself ready and to service. He has to review his notes and get there early. Except this time I was no help at all, I was behind closed doors. So she was whisked off to Mimi's house to get ready and away from Germy Mommy and Josh did his best to assist me. It was once of those really embarrassing, living-out-your-vows, kind of moments, if you get my drift. He was great. Once I was back in the bed, he was off to preach twice (our church has two services), and then back to check on me as soon as it was over. Sophie, meanwhile, spent Sunday with one grandma and Monday with the other grandma and grandpa. I didn't even want her in the house during my sick. Just in case. So while she had a great time being shuffled around, it was a crazy weekend.

Today we were all back at home and so I was taking her to preschool this morning. She was grumpy and tired, and when I came to get her this afternoon, she did NOT get her sticker. (This translates, Sophie had a bad enough day that we take away basically the only incentive we are allowed to use here.) I was frustrated with her. I mean, come on, kid. You know the rules, you know the drill, what are you thinking, we will have to figure out your consequences at home...blah, blah...what do I have to do to be the perfect parent in this situation.

But then I started thinking about how I felt this morning, and though she was not ever sick, she was probably about as energetic today as I was. And perhaps grace would best be applied here. So, we talked about today. She told me she didn't obey. (She is always very honest in admitting mistakes.) I told her that if she could try hard to obey for the next two hours, we would have a special surprise. Daddy was out of town today, so it would be a mom-daughter only night.

So, back to my post title, I spent the rest of the night basically being an idiot, except the good kind, just doing three-year-old stuff. We read Not Norman, a current fave book, watched Princess and the Frog (just came out today, that was the biggest surprise), made grilled cheeses together for supper, she made us pretend brownies for dessert, she took a long bath, and for the grand finale, I rocked my baby girl who doesn't quite fit on my shoulder anymore while I sang whatever song she requested at the top of my lungs, including the ones I have made up myself over the last three years and that she loves.

I love being that kind of idiot parent.

Fuzzy Caterpillar

2010-01-31T17:28:00.000-08:00

2009 Christmas Letter

2010-01-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

This year has been a really busy one for us, but while many things have remained the same -- we are both still working at Highland Church of Christ, Josh is in graduate school, we live in our same house, and we are still marveling at the joys of raising our daughter, Sophie -- other things have changed.

Sophie still lights up our days with her smiles and hugs. She is so much fun to be around. Of course, her toddlerness shows up sometimes, with a little bit of attitude and her insta-cry abilities about the most unimportant things. This parenting thing is definitely a challenge sometimes! But most days the joy far outweighs the challenges and we delight in watching Sophie learn and grow. This year, Sophie started acting a lot more like a girl in some ways. She loves to play with her baby dolls, dress them, ride them around in the baby stroller. She loves to dress up. She also loves playing outside, though, and hitting her t-ball or swinging or kicking the soccer ball. She got over Elmo somewhat this year and started a new obsession with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse... just in time for us to go on a Disney Cruise around her birthday. She loves spending time at her grandparents' houses and is there as much as she at home, some weeks.

Brooke is thankful to be in her tenth year at Highland Church of Christ as part of the youth ministry staff. We enjoyed getting to go to Camp as a family again this year, and Brooke helped take a group to Houston Impact for a mission trip in July. While she is also sad about the likelihood of this being her last year in this job, she also feels so grateful for her time spent in ministry to an amazing group of teens and with amazing coworkers. This year, Brooke also spent lots of time talking to other adoptive families in our area, as well as friends who are considering adoption. Several of our friends have adopted and several more are in the adoption process now. We love talking about our experience and we look forward to beginning another adoption when our lives settle down a bit.

Josh is more than 2/3 of the way done with his masters of divinity degree at Harding Graduate School of Religion. He is still working as the Preaching Apprentice at Highland Church of Christ. This year, we began to feel called to go ahead and test the waters in seeking a full time position for Josh. As we seek God's direction, we would love for you to be praying for us. We hate the thought of not living close to our families and leaving our life in Memphis, but we are committed to going where we feel God is calling us wherever that may be.

Our hearts are with those who have had an especially difficult 2009, those we know and those we don't. Although our jobs remained secure this year, several of those very close to us are currently seeking employment in this difficult economy. We especially always have Ethiopia on our hearts, as we pray continually and financially support organizations such as AHOPE, World Vision, and ChildFund who work with some of the world's most vulnerable people. Our hope is to be more involved this year in the lives of some of these and that we can be God's hands and feet anywhere He presents the opportunity. May God bless all of you in 2010 and may we all be involved in blessing the lives of others.

Playing at the house

Playing in her kitchen wearing her first real ponytail

Sleeping with her favorite stuffed animal Panda

Playing at the playground

Easter Family picture

Hunting for Easter eggs

Painting at Memphis Workcamp

Sophie Day - 2nd anniversary of her adoption

At the lake visiting Alabama family

Flying to Chicago holding her best girl Baby

At Wrigley Field at Sophie's first Cubs game

Tubing at the lake

Our niece Sadie Belle was born

Sophie holding Tonto, her cat that lives on her Aunt and Uncle's farm

Playing in the leaves in the yard

Trunk or Treat - "Tinkerbell"

Just looking cute with pigtails

Turning 3 on December 13

Sophie and her new pal Mickey on our Disney Cruise

In front of her new tent that Santa brought

Christmas Family Picture Rays and Bennetts

The three of us, Christmas Day

2009 Christmas Letter

2009-12-25T23:32:00.001-08:00

Letter on its way.

Christmas Gifts with Ethiopian Flair

2009-11-28T21:23:00.000-08:00

If you're an Ethiopia adoptive family (or know one and want to give them an themed gift)reading my blog, you might want to check out these sites for gifts this season.

I have this one - it's a necklace with "Enat" (which is Mother in Amharic) on it. Super cute.

Here are some t-shirts that are super cute. Especially check out these ones, of which the proceeds go to the organization Project Hopeful, who work to promote positive awareness for children living with HIV/AIDS.

A great tote sold here raises funds for AHOPE for Children, an orphanage in Addis Ababa which serves children living with HIV/AIDS. I have been to this place once and was forever changed by it. It's worth supporting. Oh, and World AIDS Day is coming up December 1, so that's another reason (as if we need it) to take notice of this crisis in our world.

Another unique idea is to get some of the primary spice used in Ethiopian cooking, maybe along with some recipes. It's called Berbere. Here's one place I know you can get it.

Good food and hard questions

2009-11-10T20:54:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately I forgot to take a picture BEFORE we dove into the huge platter of Ethiopian food at Abyssinia, so the AFTER picture may not look very appetizing...ok, actually the picture is even grossing me out, sorry. It was, however, absolutely yummy. If you're a Memphian, I urge you to go try this very unique type of food just for the experience. The owners are just wonderful, friendly and helpful if you don't know what to order.

This time we went with our friends Nick and Jesse, who are in the midst of adopting a child from Ethiopia themselves and also lovers of Ethiopian food.

In other news, now that the new Disney princess paraphenalia has debuted, the princess who happens to have brown skin (finally), I am debating on whether to buy into the hype. And if so, I will be buying this nightgown which is just too cute.

On a much less Pollyanna note, I have been reading some adult adoptee blogs lately. These are difficult to read because as an adoptive parent - and parent in general - you are always fast-forwarding your child's life to that next phase and fearing when what/when/how the impact of facing her own adoption story hits home and she has to deal with the true loss she has experienced. Even though most of these bloggers love their adoptive parents, they use their blogs as a way of working out their feelings on the journey they are on to self-discovery. If you are an adoptive parent, I think we have a responsibility to read, learn, and listen to these voices. I HOPE that I can do some things better because of hearing these voices. My kids may never feel the way some of these adoptees do. But if perhaps I will be able to give them the space they need when and if they ever do need it.

Reading these always reminds me the importance of language, for example. I know it's annoying to some, all the PC this and that, all the time, everyone has a soapbox, blah, blah, blah... But listen to the voices of adult adoptees and you might think differently.

As a Christian who chose to adopt, I especially feel that I have to tread very carefully. Our language can be some of the most offensive to these adoptees. When we talk of God's leading, God's will, God's plan bringing us to the child who is meant to be ours... I have said all of these things at some point by the way... can be really ME-centric and not very child-centric and definitely not very wholistic. I do not believe that God made bad circumstances happen in someone's life on the other side of the earth so that my child could be raised with me in America. Has He brought amazing good from the bad in our world, yes. Does he still work in a world that is so broken that some people live in mansions and some live with not even a roof over their heads and only dirty water to drink? Yes. AND I do think He is calling some of us down here to adopt, obviously if you know me I am very proadoption. But adoption in and of itself is not a solution to the problems that create the need for adoption in the first place. I digress, oops, but back to the language question -- I feel such a burden to share with Sophie as she grows up how she came to be in our family, and to include the way our faith in the Lord played a part... but as we do so to be clear and as precise as possible with our language. Here's an example of an adult adoptee blogger who was dealing with this question in a post about "things I wish I'd known": *please don't go write hateful things on her blog after reading it. I don't know this person and I want to respect the person's right to share his or her views.*

That I didn't have to be confused by the myth that it must be God's will for me to lose my mother, family, identity, and original life so I could be "adopted". To gain my new family, life, love, and blessings. I grew up trying to force this idea into my head & heart, but it was completely in congruent with life, truth, and the adoptee's reality. I lived with extreme guilt and feelings of disloyalty, wondering how I could say I really loved my adoptive family if I had these feelings of loss and longing.

I was so relieved to finally "wake up" and realize that, like Joseph, when he was reunited with his original family, concluded, "What the ENEMY meant for evil (separation, loss), God has turned for good."

I didn't have to be fearful and distrusting of God anymore because it was impossible to understand (what adults had told me for their own benefit) how God PLANNED and WILLED for me to be adopted. He didn't orchestrate it.

It comforts me to know He didn't want me to lose my mother, family, identity so I could fill the role of someone else.

I don't have the answer to this one, but I wanted to share the journey I am on to do the best I possibly can by my precious child. I am so grateful to know a God who brings good from bad and beauty from ashes.

Family Update

2009-11-09T20:40:00.000-08:00

Haven't posted in a while. Once I read on someone's blog about all the blogs they write in their heads... I totally relate to that. I'll be driving along and think of this thing I really want to put out there on my little blog and by the time I have a minute in front of computer, with no distractions, I am a total blank.

Maybe that's a good thing, though, because I'd rather be bouncing a ball with Sophie or rocking her to sleep, than writing interesting tidbits for others to read, I suppose...

Things going on of late are many. We've had a busy fall as usual, but it seems like even more than usual. One thing that's kept us busy was a marriage workshop we have been a part of. It's called Dynamic Marriages, lasts for nine weeks, with one meeting a week. There's a book to read, homework to do in a workbook, and lots and lots of discussions to have. It has been a lot to take on with everything else going on, but it has been worth the effort. We have learned so much about each other, especially the top "needs" each of us has. One thing he learned was that my top need is conversation. That means I like to talk, just to talk, not for a purpose or as a means to an end, just TO TALK. Crazy to some, but for me it's how I relate. And I learned some ways I could meet his needs better too. It's been a growing time for us. Thankful for our families who have kept Sophie on Thursday nights so we could go and do this. If you want to know more about this resource, here you go.

I think it's been a good foundation for us as we begin to think about his future job options. This has been a long time coming - he has been in school since the summer after we married nine years ago, working full time and going to school actually. In the last year or so he has been able to be a full time grad student (still with two part time jobs, however). And though he is not at the very end of his 90-hour masters yet, we are beginning to ask God to show us if it's time to take the plunge. So I'll ask you to pray, too, as we consider this question and seek His leading in our lives.

Our baby girl is not much of a baby anymore. She is really into her own baby doll now, talking her to softly, rocking her, changing her diaper, tickling her. She is so tender with her. She is into playing pretend anything - especially pretending that" there are alligators in here!", singing and dancing, and playing jokes on her mommy and daddy. She is so affectionate and we kiss and hug all the time. I can't believe we are coming up on her third birthday! She seems really tall so I am looking forward to seeing about that at her pediatrician visit in a few weeks. Her hair is SO long and just beautiful. I recently took her to the hair salon for the first time. There are some great pictures of that on my Facebook. Here's a link to it.

That's what's new...

Announcing Sadie Belle

2009-10-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

As my terrible blogginess would have it, I have not posted pictures of my new little niece. She was born on August 18 just before midnight. We got to be there for her arrival (not the actual arrival, mind you, just in the waiting room).

Since I'm the big sister by five years, this was the first time I could remember Emily going through a big life thing before I have. I have never been pregnant and I have never had a newborn! It was really fun to learn and watch my little sister as she dealt with contractions and was calm as a cucumber and now as she mothers her new baby. She is doing an amazing job and it is coming quite naturally! We are so happy for Emily and Jarrod and baby Sadie Belle.

Here's some pics of her and us during the first few days of Sadie's life: (They live on a farm, hence all the farm pics)

Urban Peachy

2009-09-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

Today we had a fun outing to the Farmer's Market downtown. Our friend Jesse goes most every weekend, so we accompanied her this time. We had a great time and bought really yummy peaches, some homemade bread, and some little grape yellow tomatoes.

But there was one thing Sophie didn't want to wait to eat. As we were strolling away from the peach farm table, I noticed Sophie had a peach half eaten in her hand. She had swiped a peach off the table! I remembered the time I accidentally wore a hat that I was trying on all the way out of Loehmann's and into the mall. and maybe all the way home (Mom, I can't remember!) My mom made me go back and apologize and hand back my stolen item. So I strolled on back to the Peach Man and told him her indiscretion. This time she was lucky because he was glad for her to have it. She finished the peach up as we got in the car apparently, because I asked her where her peach was and she said, "It's on the floor." Apparently she loved this not-yet-ripe peach, because this is all I picked up off the floor:

We had a great time in downtown and then on our way home happened upon the Cooper Young Festival... so we parked and looked around there for awhile. It was fun too! Tons of people, food, arts and crafts. I found these frames that I loved but did not purchase. You will like them too. http://www.simplysquared.blogspot.com/ I hope to buy some of their stuff at some point.

My thoughts today

2009-09-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

Ever just get sick of yourself?

I have felt so convicted by reading the blog I mentioned yesterday, so much so that I felt I needed to journal (something I rarely do). I pulled out my journal and started reading a little bit of what I wrote last (in January) I was at a conference and had just heard a talk by Tony Campolo.

Here's what it said:

"Yesterday's messages are lingering in my head. Am thinking about how far, to what point am I willing to go to be Christ's ambassador? to bring peace in my piece of the world? to give my Self up for the cause of Christ?

It's like, if I think about it too long, You might give me a mission for something big You need me to do. I might have to dream or imagine what there is already for me to do right here in Memphis, in my neighborhood. Or somewhere else where I feel I am far less comfortable.

God, what are you asking me to do right now? There are things I know I am called to now and they are definitely enough to keep me busy, but am I shutting my ears to more? Help me to hear you if so."

The reason this entry makes me sick is that it reminds me of the cycle I am constantly caught in. I feel conviction, I feel fear, I am numb, I ignore and go back to normal life and decide that was just an extreme emotional me who is not in the real world.... then something happens, and I feel conviction... and the cycle repeats. Rarely do I act. Rarely do I search. Rarely do I take a risk. That can't be the Kingdom life I am called to, the upside-down life Jesus refers to in his Sermon on the Mount. I want to be a vessel that is used, and used up... theoretically. But when the rubber meets the road, I come up far, far from that. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but then I remember, to whom much is given, much is expected.

I am not sure why I feel drawn to share this on my public webspace. Perhaps it is because I need you people who know me and love me to remind of this, to remind me that I am called to more. That I have to open to eyes to whatever God may have in store for me and my family.

Doing something that matters

2009-09-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

I came across this blog and I can't stop reading it.

This matters.

Summer has come and gone

2009-07-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can see, I've been a little too busy to post anything on this blog! We have had a crazy but wonderful summer, mostly filled with youth group activities. Three highlights were:

My family got to go to Camp Highland again. Sophie enjoyed it even more than last year. It was a blast! Sophie had lots of fun with her friend Jack and all her "Big Friends" (the teenagers).

I was able to go on a mission trip with the teens this year. It had been two years since I had been able to attend one. Two years ago I was on maternity leave during the summer, and last summer Sophie was still just too little for me to leave her for that long. Leaving her this year wasn't easy at all... but she was well-loved and cared for by her Daddy, Lala and Papa, and Mimi. She was also old enough to talk to me on the phone, which made it easier to feel connected. We talked every day and she could actually tell me what she did that day. Most of the time it was playing with one of her many Daddy treats she received while I was gone - a tee/softball/bat set, a kite, and a slip and slide. :) Anyway, I got to go on our trip to Houston, Texas. Our group worked with a church there who puts on a summer program for children in the downtown area. The program is top notch. It was a blast to watch our teens love on these kiddos. A highlight for me was working with the kids during the reading time. They spend 1 1/2 hours each day on reading, with an all summer volunteer leading each group. Even though its not the favorite time for the kids (obviously) it is cool to think that they are gaining a skill that is so crucial to being able to succeed in school, in life. It was a rewarding and inspiring experience.

Sophie Day was June 9. That is the day we celebrate when we got to meet Sophie for the first time. It was an amazing day and I sometimes can't believe how much she has changed. I recently looked at some pictures that were sent to us from our agency just before we went to pick her up in Ethiopia. They are pictures of her in the foster center, including one of the nannies feeding her. I thought I'd include some of those pictures just in honor of our two year "famiversary".

Playing in the water

2009-06-17T15:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter

2009-04-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

The Easter weekend has already brought lots of enjoyment to our family. Last night we joined Grace Crossing Church for their Good Friday service, which was mainly worship and Scripture, along with the opportunity to take communion together. It was a great way to start the weekend, focusing on what the holiday is really all about. This morning was our church's Easter Egg Hunt. Lots of fun was had by all.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Easter Sunday!

Two milestones (Warning: Very Sappy)

2009-03-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

Sophie has let go of one of her signature baby things and I am a mess.

Ever since Sophie started making noises, there was "Dee". Her first letter sound was D, and her word for yes became Dee.

Today, for some reason, it is over. She is saying "yes". ONLY. She has used both words interchangeably for sometime, but tonight I was even testing her, asking her questions that she usually says Dee to. Do you want some more milk? Yes. Do you want to read some books? Yes. It just did not sound right.

This did not happen to me after she gave up bottles or diapers or crawling... but for some reason, as I was rocking her tonight, tears were just streaming down my face.

I am sure this is not the first time I will wish for time to slow down.

Also, tonight, Sophie did something else I have not heard her do until now.
Here it is.

Finally...the COC...

2009-03-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

Pardon me while I gripe.

I mailed in our application and money to apply for the Certificate of Citizenship for Sophie in November, 2007.

Check (for $400+) was cashed that same month.

I received the document on March 20, 2009.

Ridiculous.

It was very exciting to finally have it in our hands. For those who don't know about what this is, here's how I understand it.

Sophie became an American citizen when we adopted her, according to the Child Citizenship Act of 2000. (She had to give up her Ethiopian citizenship, sadly.)

However, her only form of ID we had up until this point was her Green Card (Permanent Resident Card). The Certificate of Citizenship seems to be recommended so that you have absolute proof of her citizenship for the future. It is not a required step but one that we definitely wanted to take. The Certificate of Citizenship is the only real proof of citizenship our children have, since passports expire and the CoC does not. This also makes sure she is registered as a citizen with Homeland Security.

Here's another interesting fact for you that is related to citizenship: At this point, Sophie cannot become the President of the United States. To become president, the Constitution states that a person must meet three requirements: be at least 35 years old, be a citizen born in the United States, and have lived in the United States for at least 14 years. During the election there was a lot of talk popping up in the media about McCain since he was born in the Panama Canal Zone on a US military base and about whether he is a natural-born citizen. The Senate (and everyone else) resolved that he is. However, McCain's daughter Bridget, who was adopted by the family in 1993 from Bangledesh, will be not be eligible for the Presidency, I suppose. Also anyone who immigrated to the US such as Arnold Schwarzenegger is ineligible. Several constitutional amendments have been proposed over the years to try to change that, usually to promote a specific person, some as recent as 2003, so you never know what could happen by the time Sophie is 35. But that is what it would take: a Constitutional amendment. There's your trivia for the day.

"Epeeopia"

2009-03-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

Today I got to participate in Cultural Awareness Month at Sophie's preschool. I was to talk about Ethiopia - or Epeeopia, as Sophie says - with the kids in her class (about 12 little 2-3 year olds who are just adorable). It was really fun! I laughed because they were all really attentive except for my kid. She just doesn't want to do what she's supposed to do when I am there. Like I am the license to forget the rules. Anyway, I wore my new AHOPE tshirt, which has the outline of Africa on it. I showed them some slides on my computer that I had made of different interesting places to see in Ethiopia, like Lalibela and Blue Nile Falls. The nice man at Abyssinia Restaurant in Memphis gave me some injera to share with the kids. I taught them about the coffee ceremony and how coffee is the largest export of their country. (What is a good way to explain the word export?) I showed them pictures of what typical Ethiopian food looks like, and then we each tried a piece of injera, while I played some Ethiopian children's music in the background. Lastly, I taught them how to say thank you in Amharic (main language in Ethiopia) - "Amesegenalu!"

Next time: I will print these pictures out BIG and laminate them, so I can pass them around. I will bring the Ethiopian headrest and Sophie's Ethiopian traditional outfit. I will teach them a few more words, like mom, dad, school, etc. I will try to bring some real Ethiopian food and let them taste it if they are brave. This was at 8:30 in the morning, so I didn't think it would be best time to try such spicy food!

I really enjoyed doing it and I hope I will get to do some more of this in the future. Of course it is also hard, because there are so many things about Ethiopia that I didn't share that are on my mind... like about the many people who are homeless, people with HIV/AIDS who are not receiving treatment, people in dire poverty and in need of clean water, about the stories of the past famine, about the tumultuous politicial history, or about their current tension with Somalia. But today was about the positives. In Ethiopia, we had several people tell us to share with Sophie about all the positive things about their culture. I think that is because we in the West tend to only remember the pictures of the famine when we hear "Ethiopia". So I feel good about telling people the little bit that I do know about Ethiopia so far!

Feel free to click on the AHOPE link to the right and see what they are doing to help HIV+ orphans in Ethiopia!

Laugh

2009-03-11T12:12:00.000-07:00

This is a bunch of nonsensical talk between Sophie and me the other day. The good part is her laughter. That laugh is the sweet part of every day.

More Sophie Singing

2009-02-25T12:22:00.000-08:00

"See" is her way of saying she wants to watch herself on the video camera. Oh so vain.

I am actually using my brand spanking new Flip Camera that is an early Mother's Day and birthday present from my husband. I have been saying I wanted it for my birthday so sooner is definitely better! It is awesome and I am having a hard time concentrating at work because I just want to play with it. :)

Sophie Update

2009-02-16T11:19:00.000-08:00

I feel like I need to do a Sophie update. She has been growing like crazy and changing so fast, so yes, this will be a mommy post. Here's a picture I took of her this morning.

It seems like she has grown a foot since Christmas. Her pants are all bordering on highwaters! She is definitely looking more like a little girl and not at all like a baby.

She is also doing great at potty training overall. I have had lots of you tell me not to rush her and I totally agree. She is definitely getting it now, just too into whatever she is doing sometimes to stop and tell me. Overall, though, she is doing great! The other night I had put her to bed and a few minutes later I hear, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" I finally went in and she was standing up and said, "Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom." I was like, ok, little adult! I have been using babyish words like "T-T on the Potty" but I guess we are a little more sophisicated than that. We laughed and laughed about that one.

I am so thankful that she is such a cuddler. She loves to say "Mommy hold you" which was always one of favorite things to hear a kid say ever. I really really like it when she says it to me. I never have to try to get her to hug or sit with me or tell me she loves me. She wants to love on us all the time!

This kid loves Elmo, even more than ever. We are definitely not growing out of that one yet. When she thinks we are going to be home for a little while, she immediately says, "Watch Elmo, Mommy!" and then when I say no, she changes to her innocent angel voice and says, "Please Sophie watch Elmo, Mommy, please?!" If I still say no, she says it again. It's hard to explain why asking politely doesn't always equal a yes. I suppose I am still learning that life lesson myself, so I don't really have a good answer, other than the standard "because I am the Mommy".

Her hair is getting so long! Those TINY little corkscrew curls, some 4 or 5 inches long, just bounce right back close to her head. I am thinking her hair is going to grow OUT for a long while before it ever, if ever, grows DOWN. :) I love hair and she does too! I tell her every morning that she looks beautiful, and now she actually says it before I can, then jumps down from me to go show her daddy, so HE can say she looks beautiful. Ok, so maybe we're a little overboard, but I say we're just filling her up now so that preteenagehood will be a little smoother! You need a little confidence bank to draw from during that era.(Remember I work with teens everyday!) ***BTW if you have an Ethiopian or African American daughter and her hair looks like THIS, please email me and let's talk technique and product.

She is singing all the time still. She can actually carry a tune pretty well. I love catching her sing, because she belts it out the most when we aren't looking right at her. She loves worship music. Especially Shout Hallelujah, Blessed Be The Name, How Great is Our God, and a recent favorite is Mighty to Save. It almost brings me to tears when I hear her sing. I can't help but hope those words are resonating in her, maybe like foreshadowing of who we hope she will become as she grows up, as she sings them and that she will come to know Christ as her Lord and that she will know how precious she is to Him.

Thanks and Puppies

2009-02-03T10:52:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the ideas about Parents Night Out! We are having it at our church. So far so good. Will just be a trial run. If it goes well, we'll do it again!

I have just heard from a friend of mine who is trying to find homes for a couple of puppies. Here is the link for more info. They are in the Midsouth region.

Parents Night Out

2009-01-22T09:40:00.001-08:00

I am seeking ideas for a Parents Night Out I am trying to plan at our church for the young families in our church and for the community . The teens will donate their time and we will charge x number of dollars per child, the money will go to the ministry. Does anyone have that kind of thing at their church/community? Tell me some things you liked and didn't like if so, and how much your group charged per child.

Sophie's training is going really well! I never thought I would say the words poop and teetee as often as I say them. :) I think I have laughed more the last two weeks maybe than any time in her life so far. She gets so excited and proud!

A new year and a new project

2009-01-15T07:53:00.000-08:00

I was reading in bed the other night and just busted out laughing. I could not believe I was actually reading a book called:

Sophie has decided she wants to do it! So here we go, right? Maybe I should done a little more research earlier... because now I am scrambling trying to figure out how to potty train while being a working mom. I thought I'd use my blog and my amazing friends who peruse it to give me some tips.

If you were working, did you take a week and a half off of work to potty train?
If your child is in some kind of child care, do you pretty much have to adopt their system so the child is not confused?
How did you adjust the schedule on days you are at home?
Pullups or not?
Did you find that candy or sticker charts worked better?

Sorry but I am definitely a Dummy in this department.

2008 Christmas Letter

2008-12-22T17:11:00.001-08:00

2008 has been an eventful year for us, as most are, I guess!
When we think about this year, our biggest and most amazing blessing comes to mind…our daughter, Sophia Yenenesh Ray. She just turned two a couple of weeks ago. We are amazed to look back at pictures from last Christmas and see how much she has grown. A few highlights from this year are that she…
• learned to walk in January
• broke her leg and saw her first snow in February

• had her first Easter Egg Hunt in April
• celebrated her first “Sophie Ray Day” (the day we met Sophie for the first time) in June
• visited Granmommy’s farm in Texas for the first time in July
• went to the lake in August
• started at Harding Academy Early Childhood in September
• was a bumblebee for Halloween in October
• visited Granmommy again for Thanksgiving in November
• and performed like a star in her school program and turned two in December.

She has developed quite the little personality. She is talking all the time, and is always making us laugh. Music seems to be something that interests her. She loves especially to sing worship songs. She loves to read lots of books. She loves to watch Praise Baby and Elmo DVDs. She loves to cuddle and she loves to give kisses. Life is a lot more fun with her around - that is for sure.

Joshua has been busy this year transitioning from working full time and going to school part time to becoming a full time student. In May, he left his position at Enterprise Property Management. The people there, and the job itself, were huge blessings for our family. He went on from there to take a full load of classes in both summer and fall terms, chipping away at the 90(!) hours needed for the Masters of Divinity. Both Greek and Hebrew flashcards have been a part of our life this year! He also has taken on a role at our church as the Preaching Apprentice, which allows him opportunities to preach in the corporate worship service. One exciting opportunity he had in November was to go to Ukraine to visit the ministries our church supports there. He was inspired by what he saw God doing there in the lives of Ukrainians. His role at Highland has also offered him the chance to be more involved in Memphis Urban Ministry, a ministry to the poor and vulnerable of our city.

Brooke continues to work in youth ministry at Highland Church of Christ. She has been there for over 8 years! She enjoys her time with the teens and the flexibility the job provides as she continues to learn and perfect (ha) the role of working mom. Luckily, Sophie is so happy with her schedule of staying with her Lala (Brooke’s mom) on Mondays, and going to preschool 3 days a week. Brooke loves getting to stay home with Sophie on Fridays and taking the family along for many of the ministry events. All three of us went to church camp for the first time, and that was really fun for everyone. Sophie is pretty sure she is a teenager, I suppose like all youth ministers’ kids do.

Josh and Brooke enjoyed a trip to Jamaica in May (without Sophie) which was relaxing and wonderful. We both admitted to missing Sophie much more than we expected, talked about her constantly while there, and came home hoping to plan a trip for all three of us next year! We also celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary on December 2, and are thankful to have made it this far together.

Of course, 2008 was not perfect. We are mindful this holiday season of so many around the world who are lacking the comforts and the basics we enjoy today. Our hearts are heavy for the people of Ethiopia who have experienced drought and food shortage this year. We think of the people in this country and in our family who are suffering from the financial hardships brought by the economic crisis or from job loss. We have made some changes this year as to how we celebrate the holiday season, to acknowledge somehow what is going on around us. We may have fewer gifts under our tree … but we feel so abundantly blessed.

Thank you for being one of those blessings. Merry Christmas!

Joshua, Brooke, and Sophie

Sophie is TWO!

2008-12-22T08:48:00.000-08:00

December is a busy month for us anyway, because of obvious reasons like Christmas parties and shopping, but also our anniversary is December 2, my parents' anniversary is December 17, my car tags have to be renewed, Josh is a student, so finals/papers/etc are coming due, and of course, most importantly, Sophie's birthday is December 13. I am still learning how to be a mom of a kiddo with a birthday near Christmas! It is hard to concentrate on her birthday and Christmas at the same time. That sounds ridiculous I know, but that is how I have felt this year especially. It still turned out quite well, I even made the cake! (Apparently, according to my baby sister, I was so proud of this fact that I wouldn't stop talking about it!:) I am just not very home-ec-y so this cake was pretty amazing in my opinion! (oops))

She is doing so much fun stuff right now. I really love this age. You know at first, when I would be alone with her I would still feel just alone. Now - when it is just the two of us, I really feel like she is a companion now, because we talk all the time, she asks me things, I answer, we laugh together about jokes, and it's like we are connecting on a whole new level. I love it!

I am amazed at how much we all love each other. She usually opens the day with "Mommy, where are you! Daddy, where are you!" from her room - she is still in a crib, luckily, so she can't escape till we come and get her. So we go in and get her and usually let her lay in bed with us for a little while. And that is a great way to start a day.

Happy Birthday Sophia Yenenesh Ray! (P.S. She can also say her whole name now!)

P.S. The shirt Sophie is wearing is from a website that makes tshirts with Amharic words and phrases on them. Thought my Ethiopia Adoptive Family readers might want the link. Here is a close up of the one we got her.It says "Tawadej ~ One Who Is Loved" and then the Amharic letters for Tawadej.

It's Christmas...

2008-12-18T22:38:00.001-08:00

I was having one of those moments today where I was trying to get something ordered online and just up to here in Christmas parties, activities, programs, and food items to bring to these events, and I thought of one of my favorite quotes from a Christmas movie.

“I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.” – Ellen Griswold (Beverly D’Angelo)

I don't really feel miserable per se, but at that point, it was just perfect.

What are your favorite Christmas movie quotes?

Sophie turned two on December 13, and so I have a big post to do about that... maybe this weekend.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

2008-12-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

...at least it is in this picture! Not in my house yet, though!

Hope all are getting in the spirit! I am starting to get excited.

Isn't he an awesome Santa! He is in the local Memphis area and if you need a Santa you should definitely call him!

Clearing things up

2008-12-07T23:19:00.000-08:00

If you are around Sophie very long, you notice that in lieu of the word "yes"-- she says "di!" (pronounced dee) People often ask if that is yes "in Ethiopian language". The answer is no, she just made it up and now prefers it to the boring, everyday yes that the rest of the English speaking world uses.

Another funny. A number of people have asked us if it was hard for Sophie to learn English. Ummm, she was six months old when she came to us. So, no, I say. Not all of the people who asked this were under 10, by the way.

Sophie also has developed her own way of asking for things. She starts with:
S to Me: "ya want some cookies (or milk, or juice, or lunch)?"
Me: "No, thank you."
S: "Sophie will eat some!"

This model is used repeatedly for pretty much anything she would like to eat or drink.

Singing

2008-11-25T12:55:00.000-08:00

It is really amazing what kids pick up. One of Sophie's absolutely favorite things in the whole world is Praise Baby DVDs and CDs. This song is on her cd and of course we sing it our church worship services as well, and has become a favorite of hers on her own. Hilarious. You can probably figure out what it is if you are around this kind of music very often.

Nature Vs. Nurture, That Is The Question OR "The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree"

2008-11-18T07:40:00.000-08:00

I have hesitated to post this because of my own pride, but it's just too good.

Halloween

2008-11-04T08:36:00.001-08:00

Halloween Last Year

2008-10-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to organize our photos lately, and also got a new phone last week that had some old pictures on it, so I came across some pictures from last fall. One thing really got to me while doing this. Last year I had a baby. This year I have a little girl.

I love this one with her sleeping. She was really sick during the month of October last year- respiratory virus followed by the stomach flu - and she had to spend several nights sleeping in a car seat so that she could breathe. This was actually on Halloween night... I don't remember if she was actually sick that night or not.

These family pictures just reminds me that I have a super great sport for a husband. Last year we went to the church Trunk or Treat and decided to dress up as a family... about half an hour before the event. Sophie was set to be a giraffe and I had the stuff in my closet to be a safari woman. Josh wanted to be a lion or some other wild animal. We tried to buy one at Target but to no avail... but we did find this weird Burger King Man costume (why this was ever manufactured I have no idea) and tried to turn him into the king of the Jungle using bits of the Burger King cape and crown... it was a sad attempt, but he wore it the whole night. He even had to wear tights. :) This year he was out of the country during the event so we just did the Sophie dressup thing.

Will post pics of this Halloween soon. They are sure cute! AND my yearly photo of my neighbors' Halloween extravaganza will likely appear. I know you're all on pins and needles.

EDIT: Just because I want you to get a mental image of this Burger King nonsense click here. Why would someone ever want to be this?

The Disney Effect and Other Musings

2008-10-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

I went to see HSM3 last weekend.
What you don't know what that is?
Well, GET WITH IT! High School Musical 3!

I work with teens so I admit I am around pop culture more than some of my friends. I am curious if any of you are going to that movie.. I know a lot of us are planning to go to the Twilight movie but that's another subject entirely. (So many moms are reading it now! I got into it from my sister in law who is cool and young.)

I was with my Huddle Group from church - 7 12th grade girls and my co-leader - and we were so enthused about going to the movie that we got our tickets online and got to the theater almost an hour early to avoid the crowds. ANYWAY, this movie is cheesy, cheesy, cheesy, but I found myself smiling throughout and occasionally clapping! (There actually weren't any crowds, at least at the theater we went to.) The songs and dancing were awesome! The acting is definitely not Oscar material, but you get engrossed in the lives of these kids. I started thinking about my senior year and, oh, the trauma of where to go to college and of who you are going to be in life. I actually moved to a new city a few days before my senior year in high school, so I have other semi-traumatic experiences connected with senior year.
Rambling now...

Ok, my point! Is that on the way home, I actually started thinking about taking dance classes so I could dance like them. It would be good exercise, I thought. If those kids can do it, I can do it!
A few seconds, er, uh, minutes later I realized that Disney had gotten to me. To get someone as uncoordinated as me to think that was a good idea.

Wow. They are some powerful people over there at Disney.

In other Disney news, there is an African princess movie coming out soon! I am so excited for young girls of color to have a princess who looks more like them than the Snow White/Sleeping Beauty ones.

Pumpkins and Mustaches and ET News

2008-10-25T14:05:00.001-07:00

Seems like every family visits a pumpkin patch and blogs about it. So here's ours.

And a funny one at the end.

A Bit About Ethiopia

I admit I am not that experienced or well versed in world affairs. But now that our family is connected to a nation halfway across the world and you start to pay a little attention. So I will pass on a little of that to you. If you are into world affairs, you may already know that there is a famine going on in Ethiopia. Growing up in the 80s, with pictures on TV of children starving and sick from Ethiopia and other African nations, I am saddened that things are that bad once again. So in the interest of informing you my readers, here are some things for you to check out.

A very heartwrenching photo report was in a recent TIME magazine. Click here if you want to view it - but be warned this is very graphic.

On the positive side, I was very excited to get an update on the child we sponsor at AHOPE! He is doing great! If you don't know about AHOPE, take a minute to click on this link and consider sponsoring or adopting one of these children who are HIV+.

Also, this week we got some information on the new efforts being led by CHSFS (our adoption agency) in Ethiopia. Click here for more info on a Mother and Child Wellness Center, a new School, and a Family Development program.

Sophie has an accent

2008-10-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

Now that Sophie is talking a lot, we have noticed an accent developing. My husband is from the Midwest, and admittedly I am the southern one in our family, but I do NOT say "Nashville" like that. :) Do I?

Excuse the adjustment of her ever-moving headband and the fact that she is putting a paper clip in her mouth at this end of this video. Don't worry I did remove it from her mouth immediately.

Even more hilarious... the reason she said "papa" after we talk about "need help", is because she has a tshirt with the words "That's it! I'm calling Papa!" that we had just been discussing.

Generics

2008-09-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but to be perfectly honest...if I had unlimited funds, I would really like to NOT buy any more generics. Snobby, I know. But that's not real life. So I, like many of you who are budget-conscious, do purchase the generic/store brands from time to time. Especially Target brand - really the best of the store brands, I think... but anyway.

I got to thinking about this because when my family went grocery shopping together, armed with our Dave Ramsey envelope system (cash only!), we would discuss which items we could handle the generic version of, and which ones were just terrible, and which ones were great.

At this point, I was surprised to learn a completely new fact about my husband.

He CHOSE to get generic cereal.
And I am talking about the kind that is in BAGS.
Like this:

Seriously, I said, really, you will eat this? He said yes, so we got it, and he eats it and he likes it.

I applaud him for it, and so would Dave Ramsey.

(I still want my name brand Golden Grahams, please!!!)

Other things I have had a bad experience with in the generic realm:
Detergent(terrible)
"Ritz" crackers (weird taste)
Diapers (too hard!)
Baby Wipes (little balls of white fabric coming off when you wipe)
Garbage bags (breaking)
Salad Dressings (not good)
Some cleaners
Plastic wrap
Deodorant
Makeup (maybe not generic just that cheap brand that is at the end of the aisle in Rite Aid)
Toothpaste
Ice Cream
Soft drinks (except Dr Thunder Sam's Club, I like that one.)

Foil

Things I usually get the generic of:
Shredded cheese
Butter
Bread
Medicines!
Hand soap
Baby wash/soap
Buns
Lotion
Condiments
Brownie mix
Random ingredients that are going in a recipe for a casserole or cake or something
Mac and Cheese (I know this one is weird)

Saline solution

What are some things you like to buy generic and prefer never to buy generic?

I'll put a couple of Sophie pics on here too, since I haven't posted in forever! These are from when a familar character came to visit her school!

A Fun Day at Lala's House

2008-08-25T15:01:00.000-07:00

My mom found Sophie feeding her baby doll today. She knew just what to do. She hasn't let go of the bottle herself quite yet!

Later - multitasking! (I think my mom was teaching her to assist with her many projects).

Sophie's first day of school

2008-08-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

Sophie started her new preschool today, and I couldn't resist putting some pictures up of her little uniform! Also here are some pics of our last few weeks with friends Nora, Jesse, and Nick! **the green and white polkadot bow is a Little Giggle Gang original (see link at right)

Who are you?

2008-07-31T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have been wondering lately - who reads this blog anyway? I am curious and inspired by friends who have done this.

You don't have to comment. Just vote in my poll to the right! >>>>>>>>>>>

Thanks!

EDIT: Ok, so I should have put high school friend too... I didn't really think many of those were out there! Thanks everyone for reading!

More Faces

2008-07-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

2008-07-25T08:28:00.001-07:00

Surprised face!

Sign of the Times

2008-07-20T20:04:00.000-07:00

I mentioned summertime is pretty busy, right? Well, maybe that's an excuse for the following story... maybe.

Josh, Sophie and I are driving down Poplar and Josh and I are talking about whether to pull into Chick Fil A or go on down to the Wendy's. While we are debating, Josh just goes ahead and turns in to Chick Fil A line. Then.....

Sophie: [loud squeal and giggling, kicking the back of the seat] MMMMMMM goooooooood!

Josh and I finally stopped talking and realized what she was saying. And just busted out laughing.

If you're wondering, no, I did not include this little story in my last post adoptive report.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note, so many people my age are joining Facebook! I love it! It's another great way to keep in touch with each other. I am actually becoming "friends on Facebook" with a lot of my Ethiopian adoptive mom friends who I've met on our agency's forums or blogs, too.

So join up! But remember it is the World Wide Web, which is PUBLIC. Some people forget that, like this guy I read about online.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sophie is obsessed with Elmo. OBSESSED. I did not mean for my child to become to attached to a character. It just happened! So now I have given in to it, as has our whole family. She now has Elmo videos at all the houses, an Elmo chair, Elmo books galore, a talking Elmo, an Elmo bib. She even has a little chant/dance she does about "watching Elmo". (Promise to post a video of this soon - hilarious.) Recently I learned to use this obsession to my advantage.

Since she has taken to not eating vegetables, I have been experimenting with different ways to trick her into eating them. Sometimes pastas or casseroles work. But while walking in Babies R Us food aisle, I noticed something amazing.

ELMO SOUP!

And guess what, it worked! I brought out the can, showed her what it was, then poured into a container to nuke it.

I figured she would give up on it once she saw it was really just lots of peas, carrots, and corn in a plain broth with some Elmo-ish shaped pasta floating around, but NO she was completely fooled and asking for "more Elmo soup" over and over! Tons of veggies were eaten that day. (probably to balance out all the Chick Fil A). Maybe I should just wash out the can and show it to her before every meal. Nah, I don't want to push my luck. I'll just pay $2 a can if that's what it takes to get good stuff in that belly.

Sometimes I surprise myself with a great idea and it actually works. Love those times.

Sophie Talks

2008-07-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

one year and then some

2008-07-07T20:33:00.001-07:00

First picture with Daddy

First picture with Mama

Last week!

Well, my "one year home" didn't make it in time... so here's the best I can do.

Sophia Yenenesh Ray has been in our lives since April 5, 2007, the day we received our referral. But it was June 9, 2007, when Josh and I first met her. It is a day I wish I could recount every second of. First, we were brought to the Care Center from the Guest House. We were told to wait in a waiting room there. They took each family separately, one at a time, to meet their new child. Those few minutes of waiting were to me the most anxiety and excitement I have ever felt. Just knowing that in just seconds we would know this very important person, would be able to touch her and not just look at her picture, and would be in our lives forever. When it was our turn, the staff brought us to her room, which she shared with about 6 babies close to her age. There was a cameraman there with us and we had to wait to enter until he had gone in to position himself to capture the moment. Now I am so glad we did. We walked in and her nanny handed her to us and said, "Yenenesh's mama and papa". And then she came straight to us. Josh let me take her first from her nannies' arms. She didn't cry, she just smiled and cuddled, in what we now know is her way. Her eyes were wide open like we had seen in her first picture. They had dressed her in a little dress to meet us. I remember saying something like "she is just so beautiful" while I looked at her. She was so much smaller than I thought she would be. At 6 months old she was only about 12 lbs. Josh had his "turn" and we had both cried and laughed and cried for a few minutes, and then they offered to let us feed her cereal (a giant bowl of cereal, that is). Our first visit was only for part of a day, but it was the most amazing day of my life.

So Sophie Ray Day was born. We were parents. She was our daughter.

Spring is definitely gone...

2008-06-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

Because I have no time to write on this blog anymore! I work in youth ministry, which for those who don't know, is busiest in the summertime when kids are out of school. The months of June and July are packed solid with all kinds of fun activities/camps/trips/etc. as well as all the preparations for each one. It is a really fun time. This is my first year to do this as a mom because last year I was on maternity leave all summer!

Here are some pictures from a few recent events, Sophie's preschool program and our trip to Jamaica.

We are now at a year of having Sophie in our lives! More about that in my next post.

Sophie and Dad relaxing on the floor

Me with Sophie before I cut my too long hair

At Sophie's preschool end of the year program - sad at the beginning

She basically stood in the middle and threw a ball and waved at the audience(what do you expect from a bunch of babies?:)

Happy while walking out!

The "finale"

Back home afterward

Josh and I went to Jamaica for a little getaway - here's the beach! (definitely no pictures of us in swimsuits will be posted here, actually none were taken!)

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

Sophie has starting saying lots of words (admittedly, some of them only we can understand) but one word has been very slow for her to learn. Yes, you guessed it... Momma! But happy mother's day to me, she has finally gotten it down!

I am certainly thankful to be a mom this year. It is a great honor and has brought so much joy to my life!

Random Words

2008-04-20T19:34:00.000-07:00

This may be one of those things only our family wants to make time to watch:)

Bored

2008-04-11T13:21:00.001-07:00

It struck me today that Sophie looked so big in this outfit (Thanks consignor A1!), like she was about to go to kindergarten.

She had to go to my office with me today and she was (obviously) really bored. Now she's wailing.

Told you she didn't always have that big smile on... :)

Idol Praises

2008-04-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

This is pretty good.

Can you believe MICHAEL JOHNS??? What is America thinking.

Not to make light of my previous post today but

2008-04-08T20:42:00.001-07:00

if you are looking for me this week, I am quite busy as a juror in the Shelby County Courthouse. I can't believe I was picked, but hey, somebody (or 12 somebodies) had to be. Very interesting experience so far.

One thing they stressed at orientation this week was something like this:
if you are annoyed and think you have a real hardship because you have to be here for a week[at jury duty], we suggest you stop and think about the men and women who are risking their lives every day for our country to protect the rights we enjoy, i.e. the right to a fair trial and a jury of our peers.

Put the annoyance in perspective, that's for sure.

The biggest annoyance will probably be to my coworkers who will have to do parts of my job while I am gone.

I was disappointed to hear that the judge doesn't want us to watch tv shows that pertain to law/criminals/etc. etc. or to read books of that subject. Of course, I had been reading "6th Chance" by James Patterson, and was in the final leg, up until I was called up there. So the conclusion of that story will have to wait while I listen to another one.

One year ago...

2008-04-08T19:22:00.000-07:00

Friday April 5, 2007 was a big day for us! We first saw the picture of our new daughter! Here's what I wrote after that day.

It is amazing that a whole year has passed! We printed this picture out a thousand times on 8 x 10 and posted them in our offices, house, her new room, family's houses, etc. Josh and I taped one on the wall to consider what we would name her. Once we saw her, we didn't like our options for girls that we had thought of so far.. we had mainly been brainstorming boy names because we had been told statistically we would like be referred a boy! We loved her first name Yenenesh, and kept it as her middle name. I would be fine if she wants to use that name when she gets older, if she prefers.

We have this picture on our fridge now, and Sophie loves to look at it. I'll say... Where's Baby Sophie? And she points to it. :) Someday this picture will be in every momentous graduation or wedding!?! slide show of her life! I am sure she will think of even better captions for what she was thinking that we made up at the time! (Lots of things like "THE RAYS! NOT THE RAYS!")

We are so thankful.

I won't take credit...

2008-03-31T22:00:00.001-07:00

but tonight while surfing a blog of another adoptive family, I just loved this and wanted to share it.

"Adoption feels like genetic connection because it links you directly not only
to your own gene pool but to the genes of all humanity, all the way to the roots
from which we all originated....Adoption carries the added dimension of
connection not only to your own tribe but beyond, widening the scope of what
constitutes love, ties, and family. It is a larger embrace." (Isabella
Rossellini)

More Easter

2008-03-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter Part One

2008-03-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

Putting eggs in the basket

Taking eggs out of the basket

Happy it's over

Snacks with the other kids (Sophie's leg wouldn't fit in the table so she got her own "special seat")

I am sure I will have lots more pictures after our church's Easter Egg Hunt, but here are a few from Sophie's preschool Hunt. Maybe being castless will make it easier to pick up the eggs!

Another look at bonding

2008-03-21T02:35:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those moments where you are just realize something all of a sudden? Where you aren't even in a mood to try to evaluate life or love or anything, but bam! there it is.

This happened to me this morning at 4 am, and I have not been able to stop thinking about it.

I woke up because I was cold. Apparently the temperature had dropped overnight (which is impossible to predict right now living in Memphis due to the craziest weather I can remember) and the layers I had on weren't enough. Anyway, so I woke up. Almost simultaneously I had these two thoughts in no particular order: (1) I want to put some socks on and (2) I need to go make sure Sophie is covered up well.

I got up and checked on her. She did feel a little bit cold so I covered her up, turned up the heat and went back to bed.

So, what, you are thinking is keeping Brooke from sleeping on this morning? As I laid down, I couldn't stop thinking about bonding. If you have read my blog much, you know that one of our biggest goals as we set out on this adoption journey was to do everything we could to help Sophie bond to us. To show her that we were her parents and that we were never going away. We didn't let people hold her for weeks at first, and even now, we prefer to be the ones to put her to bed, to feed her, and to provide her basic needs. I did all these things at first because I had read and been told that these things would facilitate her attachment to us.

And to an extent I think they worked... bonding is continual, so we aren't at the end of that road, but I do feel that Sophie loves us and desires to be with us. The thing I didn't count on was that I would become so bonded to HER.

Somewhere along the way I started to feel like Sophie was an extension of me. Somewhere along the way I began to be some empathetic to her needs that I almost feel them too. Somewhere along the way I started thinking of her needs at almost the same time I thought of my own.

One of my biggest fears about being a parent was that I knew that at times, lots of times, you would have to put your own needs aside to tend to your child. I feared that I would somehow resent that. I am a selfish person. Who isn't, really? I'm not saying I don't need a break sometimes, of course I do; but generally I feel that this part of parenting has come more easily than I thought.

In being fearful, I didn't count that a miracle of attachment would happen to ME along the way. I didn't know that when Sophie cries, I literally would feel like it was me crying and want more than anything to find the comfort, or love, or bottle, or whatever she needed. I didn't know that it would become completely automatic to think of her as a part of me. Its like I'm now not just Brooke, but Brooke Plus One. (Reference to Jon and Kate Plus 8, yes I must admit that I love it)

My mother used to tell me and show me by her actions that when I was hurting, she was too. I remember so many times I would be telling her a story or about something that I was struggling with, and I would be crying. She cried too! At the time I think I just didn't realize how she wasn't just being a good empathetic listener... she was feeling my pain in a way that has to be unique to the parent-child relationship.

Most of our moments so far in our nine months together have been regarding some basic need she has had. She's hungry, she's tired, she's sick, etc. And I feel those things along with her, and seek to satisfy them as I would my own... But I imagine that won't even come close to what it feels like when Sophie's needs are more abstract. When she comes to me someday, crying about how someone words have hurt her, about how the boy she likes doesn't like her back, about how she feels insecure, something hard... well, I know that I won't be able to just go cover her up with a blanket for those things. But oh, I'll wish I could.

Ironic, isn't it, that today is Good Friday. And I can't help but think of Mary. Sure this day is about God, about Jesus, about his ultimate sacrifice...that's what it's all about.

But today I can begin to start to imagine what it might have been like to sit by and watch your son hurt. That day thousands of years ago, Mary felt his pain, she must have! She must have felt so helpless. Even if she believed Jesus that this was something he had to go through, even if she remembered Jesus always had a higher purpose here on earth... she would've wished she could stop it! How she must have cried out WHY to God, like most any parent who loses a child. They were bonded in a unique way, mother Mary to the human child Jesus.

Blessings this weekend to you all who celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.

p.s. Sophie got her cast off yesterday! Pictures to follow.

More snow day fun

2008-03-08T08:49:00.000-08:00

Well, Sophie wasn't the hugest fan of the snow this time. I think it actually had something to do with the fact that she was in a bad mood anyway. I couldn't really let her waller around in it because of her cast... is waller a real word? I just sat her on a rainjacket and handed her snow.
We did manage to get a few pictures though! How weird does my phone look in this picture. Too bad I didn't take that off.

She didn't really like touching the snow

Uncle Jon throwing a snowball at Mimi and Sophie

Mimi and Sophie

Sophie and Uncle Jon

2008-03-08T05:19:00.000-08:00

It snowed! And it actually stuck overnight! Its a memphis miracle!

Battle Wounds and Other News

2008-03-04T17:35:00.000-08:00

Sophie has had a bit of a hard week... last Thursday at Mother's Day Out a little boy scratched her face up with his nails, then Saturday she had a little fall at her Mimi's house and ended up with a fractured leg! Mimi of course felt terrible, but it could have happened at any of our houses. Sophie is a fast mover these days! (Not for the next few weeks however...she will be in this walking cast)

Otherwise, we are all doing pretty well. We got to see our friends the Smiths a couple of weeks ago. Their daughter Shaye is about the same age as Sophie, so we got numerous pictures of them together. Pretty cute buddies!

Here are a few other pictures from the last few weeks. I have noticed that I almost all the recent pictures of Sophie are of our living room. I can't wait until spring so we can get out a little more!

Dumb and Dumber

2008-02-19T11:56:00.001-08:00

I saw something disturbing today on the Today Show. To introduce an author who has written a book about the ignorance of people today, a statistic was mentioned:

over 40 percent of adults under 44 did not read a single book last YEAR.

Are you kidding me? This is completely ridiculous. How could you get through an entire year without reading a book for personal growth, for professional growth, for education, or at least a novel at the beach for fun?

And they also showed several female pop icons and their examples of dumbness. Why do girls think it is actually cool to act dumb???? I especially hate this since I work with teenage girls. And text/instant messaging has basically ruined any hope for this generation to remember proper grammar. More than that, the author said on the Today Show that she thinks we, Americans, are almost proud of our stupidity; she found that many young people saw no use whatsoever in learning about history nor learning a second language. Well, that is embarrassing... truly. Beyond just the lack of knowledge, there is another danger for Christians, I think. If we do not educate ourselves in what is going on in the world around us, how will we know how God wants to use us? I have not always been good at doing this, but I want to get better.

I am determined to read more because of that.

Therefore, here are the books currently on my nightstand.

The One Year Bible (self explanatory)
There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene (a book, documentary-style, dealing with AIDS and orphans in Ethiopia and Africa in general)
Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance by Barack Obama (passed on from my husband, a book about his relationship with his family, in which his mother was white and his father was black, written prior to his political career)
I'm Chocolate You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World by Marguerite Wright (still reading this one after many months... a book, well, it pretty much explains it in the title)
Double Cross by James Patterson (my FUN book)
A crossword puzzle book

What is everyone reading these days? Anything interesting?

Life Goes On

2008-02-12T10:54:00.001-08:00

Sophie found this book in someone's junk pile at our offices. Look closely at the title. (Can you guess whose book this was???)

Here she is in her favorite place at my office: watching her video. She is actually sitting for this picture but soon after she got up to stand right in front of the TV (see previous posts about this:

Sophie is eating (finishing!) her banana on her own in this picture. She is getting so big and learning something new each day.

I am so so so behind on posts but I have some funny stuff to share. Especially in the wake of so many people making their blogs private, this is interesting.

I have always known, intellilectually at least, that my blog was on the WORLD WIDE Web, therefore is a public entity. Recently, I was shocked by someone who called me to write an article about me for a magazine. This person had been googling certain topics, and one of my blog posts came up. She emailed me about the article and then called me for a interview. The funny thing is that the article is about a quality about myself I don't really like. :)

No, I'm not telling what magazine because I really don't think any of you will see it. There is no telling what crazy stuff I said or what I will sound like. Probably a little nuts.

Anyway, just a reminder Big Brother and all kinds of other random people are watching.

Hi

2008-01-22T13:46:00.000-08:00

I love the video feature. :)

The video as promised

2008-01-15T10:16:00.000-08:00

Sophie's newest skill

post holidays update

2008-01-14T19:11:00.000-08:00

WARNING: Boring update to follow if you are not really interested in the Ray family timeline and/or Sophie development. :)

We had a wonderful holiday season this year. We were in town for the whole time (i.e. no driving on crowded roads) and were able to spend time with both of our families. Sophie was so much fun. She loves to have all the people she loves the most in the same room; she gets so excited. It's not so much about the presents for her. Isn't that what its about anyway?

Since the holidays, we have been super busy... even busier than the holidays were I think. After a trip to Atlanta for a conference last week, we came home and jumped right in. Josh's and my offices both went through moves recently. Mine took place only last Thursday. It has been quite a chore and has required more hours than usual getting things in order there. Also Sophie started at her new "school" this week. We moved her to a new place that is closer to my new office so it would be easier for me to pick her up. I think it is going to be great.

Something neat that happened over the holidays was that we received a note from one of her teachers at her old school. Sophie really loved Miss Linda from the start of our time there. Linda wrote us the sweetest note about Sophie, and how much she loved her, etc. etc... and, seriously, I cried!!! It is crazy, my mom was always so touched by people talking nicely about us, and I thought Oh please! but when I read that note, I was just so PROUD of my sweet little girl. I know its ridiculous but it was her first little praise note. I hope all of her future teachers will be as kind and sweet as Miss Linda is. It is such a blessing to feel confident in the people you entrust with your baby.

Sophie is doing several new things. One is great. One not so great.

I'll start with the bad: She is now spitting our her vegetables. This has not been a problem much at all until now. In the last week she has rejected broccoli, green beans, carrots, and peas. The little stinker will even pick them up, mash them in her hand, THEN drop onto the floor. This is a new predicament for us. Apparently I am not alone, however, every mother I have mentioned this to is like, "Join the club!" The worst thing is it is SO hard not to laugh. We are resisting but, man, it is hilarious.

The good, I mean, great: She is walking! She has been getting so good at walking with our fingers, but not wanting to take steps. But Wednesday night at church she busted out with several steps in a row! I have a video to post, I will do that tomorrow. It is pretty cute!

Wow, I cannot believe what a "mommy" post this is! I always said my blog would still be about more than just Sophie, but I am certainly not living that!

A really deep thoughtful post is in order...soon, I promise. Right after I change this diaper.

Our Christmas 2007 Letter

2008-01-01T17:03:00.000-08:00

Here are a bunch of Christmas photos if you're interested. And this is just so I have a record of our Christmas letter on my blog.

December 19, 2007

Dear Friends and Family,

2007 has been a wonderful year for the Rays. As you may remember, we began the process in 2006 to adopt a child from Ethiopia. Early 2007 found us waiting to hear from our agency, Children’s Home Society and Family Services, that we had a child. On Easter weekend, we got word that a beautiful and surprised looking 3 month old baby GIRL was ours! From April till June, we decorated a nursery, had a wonderful shower, and made travel plans. On June 6, Josh and Brooke headed to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to pick up Sophia Yenenesh Ray. We met her two days later, spent a week there getting to know her, and flew home June 16.

We suspected from the first picture we received of Sophie that she would have lots of personality. A colossal understatement. From the day we met her, she has been full of joy and life from morning till night. We are amazed by how much she has changed in six months. In June when we arrived home, she was truly a “baby” just learning to roll over. Now, she is starting to try and take steps on her own. She learns something new each day. She laughs all the time and makes us feel like rock stars when we walk in the room. We are thankful that she has come to love us as much as we love her, and she shows it with tight hugs and slobbery kisses. We are so proud to be her parents and barely remember life before Sophie.

Sophie is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. Therefore, you could safely say that everyone is a little obsessed with this tiny girl. Our parents have been immensely helpful from day one. She has grown very attached to her grandparents, aunts and uncles. We celebrated Sophie’s first birthday on December 13.

Josh continues to study at Harding Graduate School of Religion while working full time at Enterprise Property Management. After taking maternity leave, Brooke returned to her work at Highland Street Church of Christ. She feels blessed to work for and with people who allow her to be flexible now that she is a mother. Both of us are blessed to work with Christians who encourage us and support us.

Lastly, our lives have been forever changed, not only by the addition of Sophie to our family, but also by the addition of Ethiopia to our family’s heritage. Ethiopia is a beautiful country with a fascinating history and a rich culture. It also a land ravaged by poverty and disease. We can never erase from our minds the images of what we experienced in our short time there, nor would we choose to do so until the reality in that country has changed. This is now a part of our family’s story and we are compelled to tell you that the conditions in Ethiopia must change. We have humbly committed to being a proactive part of the solution. We would love for you to join us in that pursuit. One way you can do that is by supporting AHOPE. AHOPE is an orphanage in Addis Ababa where education, medical care, and a loving environment are provided to HIV-positive children who would have no access to these things on their own. We were able to spend a couple afternoons playing with the children at AHOPE and seeing the amazing work the staff there is doing, If you are interested in learning more about AHOPE, visit www.ahopeforchildren.org. If you are interested in knowing more about Ethiopia or adoption, just call us. We love to talk about either of those things.

May this be a wonderful Christmas for you and your family. May God’s blessing be upon you and may that same blessing be upon others through you.

Love to all,

Joshua, Brooke, and Sophie

The Big One Continues

2007-12-16T18:59:00.000-08:00

The sisters came to town on Saturday, so Sophie was finally given cake. Poor thing has been so deprived of sugar by her mean mommy until now! :) She definitely loved it. Josh and I got Sophie an aquarium, and it was a hit. Here are the highlights:

Family partying

Sophie tearing into a present

Seeing her aquarium for the first time

I made it myself - I was pretty proud of it because I'm not that crafty.

Sophie and her cake

Starting to eat some cake

Cake is pretty much demolished

Post cake eating

The Big One

2007-12-13T20:39:00.001-08:00

Sophie says I am ONE!

Mommy and Sophie

Just so you can see her cute little birthday shirt, thanks, Lola

Dancing along with the dancing reindeer

I am feeling awfully sentimental tonight as I write this so beware. I've been more than negligent in posting recently and so much has happened! Thanksgiving, our seventh wedding anniversary, and now Sophie's first birthday! Not only that, but this week marks six months since we met Sophie in Ethiopia. What a whirlwind it has been.

I literally cannot remember life without her. Much like my marriage... our daughter is now such a part of the fabric of us. I am in her and she is in me. It might as well have been six decades.

Yes, I'll post a picture of her eating cake, don't worry, that's still to come.

Wedding Belles

2007-11-20T07:30:00.000-08:00

I was privileged to be in the wedding of two friends a couple of weekends ago. It was a beautiful wedding and reception. Ashley was a beautiful bride! Congrats and welcome home!

It's (finally) Fall in Memphis!

2007-11-16T08:23:00.000-08:00

People from Tennessee, especially middle and east Tennessee, think that Memphis is the armpit of our state. Oh, yeah? Well, here's some pics of the trees in Memphis that I took on my way home from work yesterday with my cellphone. They are BEAUTIFUL!

Take that Nashville!

In other news, Sophie has gotten accustomed to coming to my office in the afternoons to play after Parents' Day Out and sometimes watching her 30 minute Praise Baby video. Lately, when she gets here, she immediately crawls out of my office, around the corner, and into my coworker Buster's office, where she stands up and pats the cabinet doors signaling for someone to turn on her video. This is how I found her one day last week. Ridiculous I know. I swear she is not a TV addict!!!! This makes me look pretty bad, though, I must say. :)

Since Halloween...

2007-11-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

Well, since Halloween, we've had quite the eventful last week and a half. Sophie caught a respiratory bug of some kind, with lots of yucky symptoms like wheezing, coughing, and a raspy voice. It lasted about a week, starting the Sunday after Halloween. She was feeling better by Friday so we continued with our plans to go to Arkansas for the weekend to meet up with a couple of friends from college. (see picture below) The weekend went great, and she was in a pretty good mood considering. Monday and Tuesday were normal, then Tuesday night she started vomiting. Turns out she has a "GI bug" as the ER doc put it as he put two bags of fluids in her iv today. (!!) Hoping she'll be over this by the weekend because a wedding of two good friends is this Saturday. Two bugs in a row, what are the chances of that? So I'm pretty sick of her being sick. Not as sick of it as she is I'm sure. She's been a great sport and of course I am thankful that neither of these illnesses lasted long.

That's where we've been and that's why I've been missing some blogging. I want to say thanks to all who commented about my previous post "What do you say to this?" I am thankful for the reminder for my own life that we have to be smart and careful about what we say to each other. Showing respect to people is key in being the light of Christ to them. Something said carelessly could turn off the opportunity for a relationship. As the world grows smaller and cultures intersect, I need to be intentional to learn more about what that means, to show respect to those who may be different than me in whatever way, and be thoughtful about how I approach people.

On another note, something I don't think I have mentioned on the blog, is that we have met more Ethiopians in Memphis! I recently met two young guys in Target (I know, I spend a lot of time there) who I thought were speaking Amharic (primary language spoken in Ethiopia). I asked if they were from Ethiopia, and then we got to a talk a little bit about the country and our visit there. They were happy to meet Sophie and said "hello, little country baby!". It was really sweet. One of the two, had only arrived in the States two weeks ago to begin school in Memphis. He was especially excited to find out I had actually traveled to his country. What a great interaction to balance out that annoying last Target interaction!

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

What do you say to this?

2007-10-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in Target while walking down the diaper aisle with my daughter, a Caucasian middle aged lady approached me and said, "Did you adopt him?" very bluntly and abruptly. I just said "uh-huh, it's a girl" but kept moving.

She came over to the cart and touched Sophie's toes, and said, "It is so great that you did that. It is so hard to get families to adopt kids like these."

My thought was, Kids like WHAT??!!!!???!! I was so dumbfounded and did not respond well. I think I just said, "What?" and she repeated some part of her first statement. I began to walk off more quickly and just muttered something about how I am the lucky one and my daughter is not a charity case.

I cannot think this comment was anything but racially ignorant. This is the first time anyone has said anything like this to me. It really got me thinking about how to respond to people in the future when I come across them. I probably couldn't have changed this lady's attitude with anything I might have said, but Sophie would have heard it. I have to learn to say something back that, especially when she is older, Sophie will know that I will not tolerate comments such as this directed toward her or our family. On the other hand, I don't want Sophie to watch me overreact and blow up, but rather to respond in a way that is godly and represents who we are. I have been thinking today, sadly, what if Sophie was just a little bit older and could understand that statement? Would she be asking why its "hard to get families to adopt kids" like her?

Still almost 24 hours later I don't know what I would have said. What do you say to such outright rudeness? Adoptive parents especially, please share some wisdom here.

Twice Tagged

2007-10-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have been putting off posting because I have a lot to respond to. Two friends tagged me at the same time with different tagging lists. So this will be in response to two friends: Kellie (an "online" friend who I have become acquainted with through Ethiopian adoption) and to Larissa (an in person friend who used to live just a couple of streets away but now resides in Texas).

SO....

Kellie, here you go!

Jobs I've held:

1. Party Hostess at a local kids entertainment place

2. Hostess at a Spa/Salon

3. Macy's and Dillards clothing specialist

4. Waitress at a Country Club (ok,actually I only lasted like a month on this one)

Places I've lived:

1. Dallas, TX

2. Searcy, AR

3. Tuscaloosa, AL

4. Memphis, TN

Foods I love:

1. good chicken salad

2. Blue Bell Ice Cream

3. Tomato Soup (from either Davis Kidd or La Baguette, please)

4. Italian pretty much anything

Places I would rather be: (so cliche I know)
1. Beach in Mexico

2. Beach in Florida

3. On a cruise in the Caribbean heading to a beach

4. In Florence, Italy

Movies I love:

1. Notting Hill

2. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

3. Felicity DVD series

4. Sweet Home Alabama

TV shows I watch:

1. Lost

2. Chuck

3. Bones

4. Take Home Chef (I really hope to run into him someday in my local Fresh Market)

Larissa, here's yours:

Eight random facts/habits about myself:

1. I like small versions of things. Like yesterday, I saw that they are now engineering smaller 1/2 size bananas for kids lunches. Genius! Another reason I LOVE baby clothes and shoes. And mini Pilot G2 pens. (that's for Jesse)

2. I enjoy doing impressions, not of famous people, more of people that I am around a lot. I am not that good at some, but there are a few I think I do pretty well. I used to do a mean Leslie, but its been awhile since I've performed it. My impressions are all in love not in mocking.

3. I am a piler. Pile-r. When straightening up my house or my desk, I tend to just create more piles. I try to clean things out once in a while but I have to go through my piles to do this.

4. I have very hard gross feet. I think this comes from years of not wearing shoes. I loved being barefoot as a kid. And I cannot swing a weekly pedicure, so Josh has to endure my scratchy feet. He does not like when they accidentally brush up against him in the bed.

5. I like to read. I like to read James Patterson novels, especially for fun. I read a lot of adoption literature. I am currently reading I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla:Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World: A Guide for Parents and Teachers.

6. Growing up I wanted to be an optometrist. I have had glasses since I was a kid and so I loved how the doctor said, "which one is better: one or two?" and flipped down the different lenses. I think I will have to let go of this dream at this point.

7. My Myers Briggs: ESFJ.

8. I am so in love with being a mother. I didn't know what it could feel like for a small person to reach for you and want you only. I cannot believe how lucky I am.

So much more than you ever wanted to know about me, I know. Here are a couple of Sophie pics of late.

Sophie's latest adventures

2007-10-10T13:20:00.000-07:00

Daddy and Sophie on the front porch

Toothy Grin (She has five now with another threatening to poke out) while playing with her favorite new toy... the door stop

with Uncle Jon

with friend Shannon

reading in the rocking chair

Another bath shot (she is getting really good at posing while in the bath...hm this might be a bad idea)

PowWow

2007-10-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

If you don't know what a PowWow is, you haven't been in the Highland Youth Group. A PowWow is when you go around in the circle and every person shares a "Pow" (a negative, or not-so-good thing) about his or her week, and then shares a "Wow" (a positive, or better than last week thing). Sometimes used by youth ministers when a real lesson has not been prepared. I.e. my lesson in the 12 graders class on Sunday morning. But wait, I have an actual reason. I'll formulate my reasons in the PowWow format for demonstration's sake.

Pow:

This past week on Tuesday morning, I had a 12yr molar removed from the very back of my mouth. This tooth had been bothering me for years and finally it was time to get said tooth out of there. While this process was supposed to be a simple one, just a day off from work and a few pain pills, it escalated into quite the big deal. I was in so much pain by Thursday I had to go back and tell them to do SOMETHING to make it feel better. I have dry sockets, the dentist said. If you have ever had dry sockets (usually happen when one gets wisdom teeth out), you know that the pain that tiny little hole causes is amazing. I cannot tell you how bad it hurt. I sat on my couch for a whole day and didn't move and it still hurt the entire time! So a lot of last week was taken up with that ordeal.

The Cubs lost to the Diamondbacks in the NLDS playoffs this weekend. It was a very sad day in the Ray household (especially for Josh, my husband, who is a diehard lifelong fan).

Wow:

Finally after a few more trips to the dentist and a prescription for stronger pain killers, I started feeling better. Friday night we had plans to see some friends who were in town, and I took two of those new pain pills before we left to make sure I'd feel ok... Oops, it turns out I felt a little bit, how should I say, loopy that entire night. But the tooth sure felt better! And it is on the road to full recovery.

Fewer nights lost to watching baseball games now, since we will not be watching anymore teams in the playoffs. And just in time for our favorite fall shows.

It's actually supposed to get cooler this week! YEA, fall!

My kid is still awesome and hilarious! Every week on Sunday during church I get so overwhelmed with emotion for some reason . I think it is a mixture of gratitude to God for such a precious gift and a feeling of being overwhelmed at the idea of raising her. What a blessing she is.

What is your PowWow?

getting off the baby weight

2007-09-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

Something really annoying that has happened to me is that even though I did not carry a baby inside of me, somehow I have still ended up carrying a little extra flab since Sophie arrived home. What is the deal with that? The reason, of course I know, is that I have continued to eat my normal ways (love ice cream, love chocolate, love Cinnamon Melts from McDonald's, which by the way you should try if you haven't), but have discontinued any aerobic activity at all. By this, I mean I have not even been to our gym since June 16. I just haven't wanted to leave Sophie anymore than I already have to for work. A few walks here and there with Sophie have happened, but it is just now getting cool enough to make me want to go outside. I feel out of shape and it stinks.

SO, which is it going to be: diet or exercise? (I KNOW, both is the answer) And what kind of plan?

I am considering going to the Spinning classes at our gym at 6 am on Mondays and Wednesdays. This will require a lot of discipline however. I have also thought about trying to get into jogging, and perhaps run a race... not a half or whole marathon I don't think, but something... Or I could join Weight Watchers again...

I will confess here that I am notoriously bad at being disciplined about anything. This is a major frustration I have about myself. Whether it's eating, running, talking, reading, or studying, I have a hard time making a goal and a plan and sticking to it. So since I know this, I feel sometimes discouraged before I even start a new plan because I don't want to fail.

Anyone else feeling me? Ideas?

Trip to the Zoo

2007-09-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

We had a great weekend in Memphis. Fall is finally starting (which means we only have temperatures in the low 90's instead of the 100's) and it was just beautiful out. We took the opportunity to go to the zoo. This trip, while fun, was of course mostly for us, because it's a really fun activity to take your kid to the zoo for the first time. She could have cared less for most of the animals. She really liked the waterfalls and fountains in the animals' areas though. :) And she liked the animals we could really up close. I wanted her to like the giraffes because she is going to be a giraffe for Halloween. It was fun seeing our friends Josh and Joni and Lilly, though.

I am obsessed with tiny things, as my friends probably know, and so the baby monkey was the cutest thing I have ever seen. The mom and dad passed the baby back and forth, and then the dad (I think) turned his back to us and held the baby away like he didn't want us gawking at his baby. I loved it. I also love Sophie's tiny clothes, like these adorable little jeans. :)Weird I know.

Hope all had a good weekend, too.

Sophie's First Pair of Jeans

At the Memphis Zoo entrance

Sophie is really really interested in the rhinos (at least Lilly is looking at them)

This is a unique monkey with its tiny little baby (they start out orange and their hair gets darker) - I was obsessed with this tiny baby

Joshes and Girls

Family in front of the black bears

Crawling at the speed of light

New stuff

2007-09-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

... my crawler has become a climber/pullerupper/wrestler. She is everywhere. Today I had her picture made at Penney's (great job they do by the way)and she kept crawling off the platform or chair or whatever they had her on. Major changes headed our way, everyone kept telling me. They were right.

...Thursday was Sophie's 9 month "birthday". We went to see Dr. B today and he gave her a clean bill of health and the open invitation to real table food. So many changes and so quickly...

...last weekend Sophie and I traveled to Tuscaloosa to visit TDavis. Cute pics of that to follow.

...we went to court to "readopt" Sophie. This is really just a formality but it is important in getting her a birth certificate and then a SSN, passport, etc. in the future. Also her name is now official: Sophia Yenenesh Ray.

... we had the Baby Dedication at church Sunday. Josh had to be at drill for the Navy Reserve and I almost slept in too late to get there. Luckily sans bath, we made it there.

In Tuscaloosa:

Sophie and Lauren BFFs

All the kids (not much better that TDavis's)

All the moms and kids

Outside the courthouse

Eating table foods (macaroni)

Aunt Em and Sophie (I am getting obsessed with the Zatano clothes! Consignment sale baby!)

Baby Dedication receiving her Bible (and looking like we just woke up because we did)

My daughter is a morning person

2007-09-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

Josh and I have a system. In the mornings, we don't talk much. Just the basics, "are you taking a shower first?" or "what time will you be home tonight?" and I, not Josh, mostly say those things. We just want to get ready and get out the door. We're not really grouchy, but we're not really friendly either.

Our new addition has changed that. Some days, like today, when it is gray outside and I have a sinus headache, I am slightly annoyed at how cheery and excited Sophie is when she wakes up. She is so happy. It is like she cannot believe how lucky she is to get to wake up and play AGAIN today. After a minute of being annoyed and wishing she was a little less squeal-y first thing in the morning, I melt and I laugh and I decide to tickle her and play with her. Her attitude is contagious.

I don't know if she'll always be a morning person, but I hope her optimism and zeal for life continues. It inspires me to remember to be thankful for another day, just a regular day, that we get to be alive.

P.S. Yes, she is crawling!

Sophie's First Day of "School"

2007-09-04T08:43:00.001-07:00

Here's Sophie when I handed her off to Miss Linda today at Mother's Day Out. She was very happy playing when I left. The room was very very clean and nice. There are only two babies in the MDO on Tuesdays, with two ladies. On Mondays and Wednesdays there will be more babies. So it was a good first day (so far)!

Missing limb

2007-08-28T19:24:00.000-07:00

According to Wikipedia, "A phantom limb is the sensation that an amputated or missing limb is still attached to the body and is moving appropriately with other body parts (Mitchell 1871; Melzack 1992; Ramachandran & Hirstein 1998). Approximately 50 to 80% of amputees experience these phantom sensations in their amputated limb, and the majority of these people report that the sensations are painful (Sherman, Sherman & Parker 1984). "

These days I feel kind of like a limb is missing. Everytime I drop off Sophie. She has started staying with my mother once a week, and will begin her Parents Day Out on Tuesday of next week, so we're not even really into our schedule yet. Literally, throughout the day when she's been with my mom, I have this lingering feeling that I've forgotten something, or something is not here that I need. I feel sort of... awkward. It reminds me of how it felt, or still feels, when I have to go somewhere like a wedding or event without Josh, and it feels like half of me is absent. Now its like 1/4? or something of me is absent. She has been attached to my hip, for 10 weeks now, and I have begun to feel normal with one hip kind of haunched up to one side. I walk kind of crooked without her now. :) I know that I am merely expressing what 99.999999% of mothers experience when they leave their child. Even in hands that you trust, it still feels weird. You just get used to being a "unit" of sorts... for example we were sharing a diaper bag/purse; now I have to pack my own!

When we were getting ready to adopt, I had this recurring nightmare that I would leave my baby different places and forget him or her. I would say, "Oh where did I leave that baby?" to the people around me and I would find said baby in the grocery store, or whereever. Then I would wake up sweating and telling myself that maybe I wasn't ready to be a mother.

Now I cannot ever imagine forgetting her for one second or one minute. Just now, when I put her down for the night, I immediately said to Josh, " I can't wait till she wakes up!" And I really mean it.

A Night with Agape

2007-08-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

A few pics from the Agape Child and Family Services Heartlight event last week. Mandisa, former American Idol finalist, performed and we had a get a shot with her after the show. She is so genuine and nice and stuck around for a long time getting pictures with people. It was a great night that raised a lot of money for the agency to continue its work in Memphis in the areas of foster care and adoption. Most importantly, for me, it reminded the guests that there is so much more to do.

We have a great thing in Memphis called the Adoption Center of the Midsouth which is supported by a number of adoption agencies in town. They are working together to provide services to adoptive families and persons through counseling, support groups, post placement, and I'm sure others I'm not aware of. All their services are free! The Adoption Center is funded partly, as I understand it, from Heartlight. My husband and I have been blessed to have Christie, a social worker with the Adoption Center, help guide us through our transition and bonding with Sophie. Her encouragement has meant a lot to us.

It is alarming to hear the statistics that we heard that night about Memphis and our country. A few that caught my eye (ears):

Over three thousand children are in the foster system.

At 14.2 deaths per 1,000 births, the infant mortality rate in the City of Memphis is the worst in the U.S. One zip code in Memphis is deadlier for babies than Vietnam, Iran, or El Salvador.

About 58% of Memphis children under 5 years of age who are living with single mothers, live in poverty.

That's not even mentioning all that's going on in the rest of the world, the children who are homeless, starving, with no hopes for education or improvement of life. Children need someone to speak up for them today. I challenge myself and you to get involved in some way and on some level to protect and improve the lives of children everywhere. Let's make a dent in these statistics.

The latest

2007-08-14T16:51:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more noteworthy moments:

With her first dolly (sitting with her daddy)

With her Uncle Jon (see shirt)

Waving and barely showing off her first tooth

On her new blanket

How we're doing (long version ahead)

2007-08-04T16:28:00.001-07:00

A picture in the DC airport on our way home from Ethiopia with Sophie

Everyone is always asking us how we're doing, but you know how that is, in a store, or at church, or on the phone, you don't really give a long drawn answer, you just say something like "yeah, her new trick is waving" or "she sleeps good and eats good" blah, blah, blah. Because that's not really what the person asking wants, not really, I mean they care, but usually there isn't time for the long stuff. Not that I mind giving quick answers either, because I usually need to get onto whatever we are actually supposed to be discussing at that time.

So, here's a more complete answer for those who like the long version.

This really cool thing has happened in the last 2 months since we met Sophie. She has slowly but surely started to figure that she's our daughter and we are her mom and dad. At first, I felt like she was much more drawn to Josh than to me. Which was hard at times. Not surprising, since Josh is like this baby magnet and all kids tend to love him, but it was kinda hard nonetheless. As most of my readers know, we have been keeping Sophie pretty close, not letting many people hold her, to facilitate bonding. I think it has really, really worked. I have been able to stay home with her for a while too, which has helped too. She now looks for us in a group of people, she lets us comfort her, she is more leary of strangers (but still doesn't mind them after a little while) and she reaches up for us (which is the best thing ever).

The "holding rule" seemed a little extreme to some, and I understand that, but I feel like it has really worked as we'd hoped. Those who are familiar with adoption probably don't see it that way. Bonding and attachment is a process that continues between parents and kids throughout life, of course, but with this time we have been able to, in a sense, make up for lost time with her.

Now, I'm coming back to work, in a physical, emotional and mental way. I have been amazed that, during my time off, I have been so completely swept up in Sophiedom. It has taken a lot, make that almost all, of me. I had hoped that I would be able to be a little more "around" this summer with HYG, but I am so thankful that I had enough time and flexibility to just focus on one thing: becoming a parent. And of course I don't really feel "ready" to come back to work, but I WANT to be ready. So hopefully that's close enough.

It's amazing, as much as I love the HYG kids, SO much, Sophie trumps them all in a big way. However, I am beginning to get inspired again about getting involved in teen's lives and seeing God's work in them since I got to talk to them last. Sophie can't become the center of the universe after all, though that would be easy for me! I want her to see me being used in whatever ways I can be outside our home as well as inside. Right now, that's at Highland in HYG. Today was our Intern Lunch, a day when we honor our interns. Chance, Marissa, Jess, and Jake were all great influences on the group and have really made an impact on our kids. They also left us with some great momentum to just off from as the teens go back to school.

So that's basically how we, or actually I, am doing. Josh will have to start his own blog or comment on mine to share his thoughts. Here's a more recent pic of me and Sophie. Don't we look bonded :).

At the Lake

2007-07-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

We went to Fairfield Bay on Greer's Ferry Lake this weekend where my parents had rented a lakehouse. It was a jampacked, funfilled, exhausting weekend. Sophie had a great time with all our various family members who were there.

weekend in T-town

2007-07-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

Great weekend in Tuscaloosa, our former town. It was so good to see some old friends and bloggers such as Mommy of Boys, Anna D, Rammblings, and TDavis. We had a great time showing Sophie off. :) Congrats to Brendan and Beth, our friends who were married. It was such a sweet wedding. We are very happy for them both! And jealous because they are currently in Turks and Caicos.

This is just a gross pic that our friend Michael snapped. Ew.

30 is cool

2007-07-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

The celebration(s) have been very nice and I have can now say that I've thoroughly enjoyed the first 24 hours+ of being 30. I had lunch with my coworkers that day, my mom and cousins brought me a cake on the birthday afternoon, Josh and I went out for a nice dinner at Jarrett's on the birthday night. Then tonight my family that was in town assembled for dinner at the hibachi grill (i.e. fake Benihana) place. Sophie was in heaven because she loves to stare at new things. There was a lot to stare at. Here are the birthday highlights:

My cousins Macy and Mackenzie (who are in town for the summer)

Sophie watching the Hibachi grillmaster

She's 30?

The fam

Just a cute one of the Sopher (a nickname I have come to use fairly regularly)

And an extra special one for my Highland readers:

Here's a little pic taken in our church's lobby. Burton Gooch, do you read my blog?

Heading to Alabama for the weekend. Josh is in our friends' wedding. See you soon AL friends!

Nearing 30

2007-07-10T18:31:00.001-07:00

The Sophie picture is just a ploy to get people to keep reading my blog. A post without pics of her will be passed over. Ha.

I have had on my profile for sometime now that I am "nearing 30". This phrase has been a favorite to make fun of by my friend Buster. He is always saying, "Well you are nearing 30, you know" just to mock me.

Well, tomorrow that phrase will have to change. I will officially be 30 years old. Can you believe that? It just seems like such a high number. When I was younger I always imagined my life at 30. I thought I'd have 2.5 kids by now and be a stay at home mom. (So like 1/2 right) I thought I'd be married.(One was right!) I thought I'd be superspiritual. (Um, no) I thought I would probably not stick my foot in my mouth anymore. (Definitely not true.) I thought I would be really in shape and have kicked my fingernail biting habit. (Nope.)

So is life, I guess, some things turn out the way you think, and most things don't. I am so thankful for my life and I love my husband, daughter, family, friends, job, home, and I am even ok with my 30 year old self, although I am ever reminded of the faults and imperfections I have to work on.

Thanks for enduring my reflective "I'm getting old" thoughts.

More Sophie Pics

2007-07-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

Pre swimming

The full ensemble

Getting ready to go

My first swim and my first bikini (Daddy says my last:)

With pale, pale Mommy post swimming

Happy Fourth

2007-07-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on the trip

2007-07-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

Recently I read a quote that has stuck with me. The idea of going to adopt a child from another country probably looks very neat and clean, if you look at me now. My daughter is healthy, and sweet, and precious. We are doing well. Our family loves her. Fairy tale, right? It certainly does feel that way some days so far. But there is a side of adoption that is not always thought about, and that is what your child leaves behind. You and your child are forever imprinted by what you witness and experience. You cannot forget the "before" part of the child's life.

"Don't think you're going to walk into an overcrowded orphanage, take one child out, leave 99 behind, and be the same person when you sit down for breakfast the next morning... you think you are tying your fate to the life of a single child, You find out you have been inextricably bound to the lives of dozens of others."
from China Ghosts, by Jeff Gammage, about what's its really like to adopt.

I feel like that about Ethiopia. We have been back at home for 2 weeks and 1 day now, and I am still overwhelmed when I think about our trip. It is difficult to answer the question that so many friends ask, "How was Ethiopia?" It is hard to say the answer. This trip of a lifetime, a trip to AFRICA for goodness' sake, was almost too hard to take in. We saw so many things in Ethiopia that are difficult to describe. At the same time that we were taking all this in, we were trying to meet and learn and love our new daughter. It is such a sensory overload, that is the best way I can describe it.

But, I don't want to leave these stones unturned. I don't want to leave out this very important part of the journey to meet Sophie. So I have decided to dedicate a few posts on the trip itself and how I feel it has and is continuing to affect who I am.

Upon arriving in Addis (the capital) the first night, we drove through droves of people who out on the streets at 9 pm. The city looks somewhat like other third world cities I've seen look like, at least at this point in the drive. We stayed at the Hilton this night, in order to get some sleep before we had to check in at the guest house. We had a comfortable room and room service. However when we woke up the next morning, this is what we saw from our balcony.

You might need to click on the pictures to get a better look. As far as we could see, there were tin shanties. Just over the wall from the Hilton property. That was the first time I teared up. That morning, as I looked out on the people beginning to come out of their homes to wash their clothes, to play, to work, it felt so surreal. Here I was in this concrete tower in the lap of luxury compared to everyone I could see.

That was our first picture of Ethiopia. And as we saw more of the city, this was repeated. Big buildings on the streetside, but if you looked just behind it, there would be more of these same tin roofed homes. The city is very overcrowded and there are many beggars that line the streets. If you are in a car, children and mothers will come to your car windows and tap on them and say the English phrases they know well. " I hungry, food please"

Another picture that sticks out in my mind when I think about the people of Ethiopia, is AHOPE. AHOPE is an orphanage for children who are HIV+. We were able to go visit on our first full day in Ethiopia. We got there just as naptime was starting so we talked to the staff until the kids all woke up. Then they wanted to play! (They also wanted balloons and lollipops which is apparently what most Americans bring them. Whoops!) We hugged, held, and kicked the soccer ball with the kids for a hour or so, and it was such a joy, yet such a heartbreaking scene. It felt surreal. All 88 of the kids at AHOPE are orphans whose parents died of AIDS, as I understand it. They are being well taken care of, and are receiving antivirals when their "counts" reach a certain point. For the most part the kids looked happy. Some were withdrawn and thin, and were obviously much more advanced in their disease. Some kids looked totally normal. The thing that kept coming back to me was, these kids have very little chance of being adopted. There are some adoptions happening, but the legal side of it is very complicated (on the US end). Most of the kids will grow up there, since living with AIDS is fully possible now because of the medications. It was almost too much to bear seeing those kids. I have blurred out the kids' faces for legal reasons.

Each day we had in Ethiopia was more overwhelming and more lifechanging. On Sunday, we took a trip to the southern region. On the drive down we saw several small towns sprinkled along the way, but it's mostly rural once you leave the capital city.

Outside of the towns, most people there live in huts. As we drove, women and children walked along the road carrying water or herding goats or cows.
Here is an example of the huts:

We stopped at a hut where one family lived and our group toured it. We gave her a tip to look at her house. She had painted murals from all natural materials inside the one circular room. It was dark inside, because there was only one window. There were several children living there. She had an urn of water with a cloth over it. The translator told us that one of the children goes to the spring daily to get water from a spring.

Now think about where you live, what your life is like for a minute.

Hard to think about, isn't it.
That's a taste of what we were doing every minute while in Ethiopia. How can the world be like this? How can we have SO much and people here have so little? Not that stuff means happiness (sometimes quite the opposite we find) , and the people we met was so warm and friendly and seemed happy with their lives... It just seems so unfair.

I really cannot think of what else to say.

Check out the AHOPE website: www.ahopeforchildren.org

Growing up

2007-06-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

Many changes are happening to Sophie already! Yesterday Sophie began to sit independently! We are so proud! We clap and clap for her but she still not sure what the loud noise is about. I am sure she will catch on soon.

It is hard to explain what a transformation my life has taken in the past few weeks. I'll try though with the following.

Top 10 Ways Brooke Is Different (in ways she said she would not be mostly)
1. Going to bed early. Two recent encounters show this. Leslie called me at 9:30 pm and I was completely dead asleep. Jesse and Nick stopped by at 9 (not unusual) and I was already asleep!
2. I do not know the date at all.
3. I have not picked up my daytimer since we got home.
4. I have not been to Starbucks AT ALL. This is a depressing one. Sorry Poplar Plaza friends.
5. Drying my hair? What is that?
6. My hands always smell like milk.
7. In my car there is a Veggietales CD playing.
8. I don't think about my next meal so much as her next meal (I love food so this one is weird)
9. I call Josh during the day to tell him ridiculous things that Sophie just did.
10. I have been watching HGTV during her naps. AAUUGGHH!

So the mommyness begins. I guess it was about time.

Ok, a couple more Sophie pics for you.

Sunday is different at the Ray household...

2007-06-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

Most of the time on Sunday night I have that sinking feeling that I did not use my weekend to finish all the stuff I have to do at home. Laundry, swiffering the hardwoods, dusting, etc. Tonight it dawned on me that not only could I do it tomorrow DURING THE DAY, but I'd also get to spend the whole day with my beautiful new daughter! What a great feeling!

Today we took Sophie to church for the first time. We got there a few minutes early (to early service no less) and she was looking adorable. For some reason we forgot to document this occasion, I have no idea why since we are documenting every little move she makes usually. Anyway, she was pretty good during the singing but everytime it got quiet (i.e. during a prayer for the Lord's Supper) she felt she needed to make her presence known. Josh and I both took her out for periods of time during the service. But overall, a successful first attempt. I'll have to photograph her in the little dress I got her. SO cute.

For those who are really interested in a Sophie playbyplay, Sophie also tried a squash/corn combo baby food tonight. Here's a little of that for you below.

I also want to say thanks for all of the support we have received regarding the "rule" we have set up about holding Sophie for now. She absolutely LOVES people and will love to jump into anyone's arms as soon as she gets the chance!

On to more photos:

Bathing in the sink

Another Cubs game with Dad

Eating the squash/corn stuff (She loved it obviously!)

#1 People Pleaser

2007-06-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

"You don't have to apologize, you're the parent so you decide"

These are wise words from our good friend and pediatrician who knows me too well.

It is hard to please everyone. I am an especially ridiculous people pleaser. This does not really jive with parenting, I am learning. I have to do what is best for Sophie. Of course, that means that other's opinions may not coincide with ours. Therefore, the people pleaser in me is conflicted... do I do what is best for Sophie or please others?

I am not making much sense. Here is the current application. We have decided, for reasons based on our research about attachment and bonding in adoption, to only let our close family hold Sophie for a ?while?. This may seem silly to some. However to us, it is the best way to ensure that Sophie learns that Josh and I are Mom and Dad and we are here to stay. Once we see some signs in her behavior that she is getting this down, we'll ease up a bit. But for now, that's the deal.

So, I hope when you see us, you'll touch her, love on her, speak to her. So if you ask to hold her, we are going to say not right now, I'm sorry. Oops, see I'm apologizing already. :) Thanks for understanding while we learn to be the parents.

Ok, so here's some more pics. A couple with clothes on, I realized most of what I've shown people she only has on a diaper!

In her Baby Einstein exersaucer

In the Bumbo - not sure how to sit in this yet

reading with Mom

Go Cubbies!

Whirlwind

2007-06-20T05:30:00.001-07:00

It is starting to sink in that we are parents now. It is amazing that in the last 2 weeks I have traveled to Africa, met a complete (ok, not complete but mostly) stranger who is now our daughter, signed some papers that said so, and then came home to a brand new life. It is totally a blur! But a good blur. We are having a blast with Sophie. Her personality is very vibrant. She is very happy most of the time. She is always very focused - when she wants something she works hard to get to it, or she looks very intently at it if she can't actually get to it herself. She loves to play on her tummy, and schooch around to get the toy or whatever that she wants. She can be kind of loud when she's mad, and even louder when she's happy. She is a HUGE hit with all the family. She is the first grandchild on both sides. All the family in town have been sitting in a circle around her to just watch her adorableness. Proof is above. If she's asleep we just all look at what we call "SophieTV", aka our video monitor. There is a tiny screen that shows the view of the camera positioned just above Sophie's bed. We can watch her every move and we love it! She has been so tired during the day, understandably with jet lag and whatnot, so her naps are sometimes long. It is not uncommon to hear a family member say "Oh I think she's waking up!" excitedly, and for the rest of us to gather round hoping its true. We can't wait for her to get up and be with us again!

In getting ready for Sophie's arrival, I have been doing a lot of reading about bonding and attachment in the past year or so to prepare me for this time. Also I have several "guides to parenting" about the first year of the baby's life. I have read books about adoption and post adoption blues, just in case. ha The interesting thing is what I couldn't have read about, and if I had read it, wouldn't have understood. There is a certain miracle that is occurring between Sophie and us. Our blood is not the same, our skin isn't the same. But we are family. She is one of us already. I know that not all adoptive parents feel an instant love toward their children when they meet them for the first time but it grows over time as you get to know each other. For me, however, I can honestly say that I loved her the moment I saw her and it keeps growing everyday. This morning, she was awake at 3:30 am, hungry (still working out a schedule, actually that's an understatement) and after I gave her her bottle, she was just in the best mood. I knew I could have put her in her crib right then and she would have gone back to sleep, she's really good at that. But I just wanted to look at her and play with her and sing to her. So for about an hour, I did. I cannot believe I actually think those activities are fun, but they really are. I just love being with her. And I think she's beginning to love me too. It is one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced.

Still want to post about our trip, but that will have to wait. Sophie is waking up! Gotta run.

Pictures of Sophie Finally

2007-06-17T16:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posts! We have made it home and while our bodies are not sure what time it is, we are doing great. Thanks for all your calls and for meeting us at the airport and for the prayers! We feel them.

Here is just a taste of the (many many) pics of Sophie that have been taken so far. I promise when I can think straight and have a little more sleep I'll post all about the amazing journey we've been on.

Sophie cannot wait to meet all of you! :)

A Message from Marka (Brooke's Mom)

2007-06-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

* This message is from Brooke's mother, Marka...Please read the post below for a new post from Brooke! *

BROOKE CALLED THIS MORNING AT 4 a.m. our time!!!!!!!!! She said that the internet is so slow there and that there are several families there, all trying to use it and it's just been impossible to get to it. Same with the phone usage...she had only 8 minutes on the phone!!! So, we talked as fast as we could...and of course, I've thought of lots of questions since we hung up the phone...but mostly it was so sweet to hear the happiness in her voice.

The best news is that it has been all wonderful!! Sophie is a happy baby...full of wonderful expressions just as her pictures have shown...beautiful...sweet...not too tiny but is long as we had observed from her pictures...very well-taken-care-of and loved by her nannies...even sleeps good!!! They have not gotten full custody of her yet...they are at the Embassy today (Tuesday) finalizing her immigration. She has a little cold and is running a fever, Brooke said...but she is still happy and isn't fussy at all. Brooke sounded wonderful...said that it had been an amazing experience...all of it.

She said that Josh had been great with Sophie and was just wonderful with her. They have spent a lot of time with her at the nursery there and are sooooo looking forward to getting her 100% of the time which will be tomorrow (Wednesday).

When we hung up the phone from that wonderful conversation, we just fell into prayer, thanking God for His provision of this precious child, for the safety they've had on this trip, and for the pure love and happiness that we heard in Brooke's voice. Thank You, God our Father!

Marka and Norman

PS: Brooke & Josh will appreciate some privacy at first in order to settle into their new life with Sophie when they arrive home to Memphis. However, they told us before they left that if anyone wanted to come to the airport on Saturday for their arrival, they are welcome to do so. Several people have asked...and I have been telling them they are welcome to come. They arrive in Memphis at 3:12 Sat. We will be (briefly!) greeting them as they come out of the restricted area...before they go down the escalators to the baggage claim (where we usually greet the Belize kids).

Officially A Ray!

2007-06-12T06:28:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! This is our first chance to post! There is email access at the office but we haven't had a chance to use it! We just came from our Embassy appointment with Sophie and we are officially her parents! We stopped at the Hilton to reconfirm our flight and to use their email which is a lot faster. We can't send pics even if we get over to the office because the connection is pretty slow we hear. And we dont' have our camera with us right now because you couldn't take it into the Embassy... So you may have to wait till we get back to see her!

As for Sophie, she is amazing and sweet and so precious and those eyes are just as beautiful in person. We love her so much!!! She is doing so well. She has been well taken care of and well loved here. The bonding is going well we think.

Love to all - please keep us in your prayers on the way back (Friday-Saturday).

We're here!

2007-06-07T13:47:00.001-07:00

We made it! We are of course jet lagged, but are about to go to bed.
It's 11:00 pm here. We are staying at the Hilton tonight, then on the
guesthouse tomorrow!