Monday, April 16, 2007

Real



Today I mailed a small package to Sophie. We actually send it to our agency and they get it there through people who are travelling to Ethiopia. It included an 8 by 10 picture of Josh and me laminated, a "Who Loves Baby" book filled with pictures of us and our families, and a small purple polka dotted blanket with "Sophia Yenenesh" embroidered on it in yellow. (Thanks Amy!) It strikes me every time I see her name written or hear it said aloud - this sounds obvious, I know - she is a real person! It is so strange. I have a picture of her. Two of them actually. She has two hands and two feet, she weighs 10.5 lbs (as of referral), she has big brown eyes. We see that she is real!


But there is so much we don't know about her. Just like all expectant parents I assume, I often wonder what she'll be like. Tall or short. Athletic or artsy. Shy or outgoing. We just don't know. It's just so amazing to know that she was created and that much about her has already been determined... in that thing we call DNA. They say that the nurture vs. nature argument will never be solidly won, but I think there is no question that there will be things about Sophie that are purely and completely from her birth parents. Maybe they'll be obvious from the beginning. Maybe they'll show up over time as she grows and learns and matures. And she'll probably wonder herself if her mom looked like her, if she had any mannerisms like her dad.


And as I continue to ponder her as a "real" person, I hurt for her that she doesn't have the opportunity to live with the people whose DNA she carries. Don't get me wrong, I am so thrilled and thankful that we are going to have the opportunity to raise her and love her and embrace her as if "born" into our family. How unfortunate, though, that children are even in situations in this world where they need to be adopted in the first place. I didn't realize how heavy this would weigh on my heart... once I knew our baby. I grieve for her that she cannot have the opportunity to grow up with her birth parents, even though I know we will love her just like she was born to us. I can only hope that this will help me to empathize with her when we begin the bonding process in just a few short weeks, and that I will be able to give her the time she needs to accept us as her mom and dad.
Thanks for your prayers!

7 comments:

khovater said...

I am so thankful that Sophie will have a Mom and a Dad that is sensitive to those feelings. I so love your posts about what is on your heart. I am excited to see God's plan for your family. I look forward to seeing the things that she picks up from you guys and makes her own. This is all so exciting!!!!

Larissa Smith said...

I love that you sent her a package. That might seem strange, but it just strengthens the feeling that she is yours, even though you can't bring her to your house yet.

I love your thoughts, Brooke. She will be such a blessed little girl to be brought into your family. The fact that you are really pondering life from her point of view shows how much you take this seriously and how much you love her already.

I kind of feel like you're pregnant and we've seen the sonogram picture, but we don't know how she will express happiness or what her little voice will sound like or if she likes or hates a bath. Learning a baby is a crazy joy.

Melissa said...

Hey there! Congrats on all the exciting things happening for you guys right now. We are excited to read about this journey with you all on your blog. We have just started up our blog so feel free to check it out. We have twins who will be 6 months this Thursday! Yall are definitely in our thoughts & prayers!

Mitzi said...

You were so sweet to send her something. I love your honesty in your posts. We are praying for in during this exciting time

kathryn said...

Amen to the whole post, Brooke. I really haven't heard it put better.
Thanks for this!

Soupie said...

Brookie, how sweet that you have sent her a blanket with her name on it--a blanket that will wrap your love around her, and the pictures that she can see and wonder about (who ARE these strange people?!?!) If her caregivers will share those every day, you will not see so much a stranger to her. She's gonna love you, very quickly!! Love, Soupie

TDavis said...

You guys are going to be great about keeping Sophie connected to her biological roots and at the same time giving her a history as a Ray. How blessed she will be!