Christmas Gifts with Ethiopian Flair

If you're an Ethiopia adoptive family (or know one and want to give them an themed gift)reading my blog, you might want to check out these sites for gifts this season.

I have this one - it's a necklace with "Enat" (which is Mother in Amharic) on it. Super cute.










Here are some t-shirts that are super cute. Especially check out these ones, of which the proceeds go to the organization Project Hopeful, who work to promote positive awareness for children living with HIV/AIDS.













A great tote sold here raises funds for AHOPE for Children, an orphanage in Addis Ababa which serves children living with HIV/AIDS. I have been to this place once and was forever changed by it. It's worth supporting. Oh, and World AIDS Day is coming up December 1, so that's another reason (as if we need it) to take notice of this crisis in our world.




















Another unique idea is to get some of the primary spice used in Ethiopian cooking, maybe along with some recipes. It's called Berbere. Here's one place I know you can get it.

Good food and hard questions

Unfortunately I forgot to take a picture BEFORE we dove into the huge platter of Ethiopian food at Abyssinia, so the AFTER picture may not look very appetizing...ok, actually the picture is even grossing me out, sorry. It was, however, absolutely yummy. If you're a Memphian, I urge you to go try this very unique type of food just for the experience. The owners are just wonderful, friendly and helpful if you don't know what to order.

This time we went with our friends Nick and Jesse, who are in the midst of adopting a child from Ethiopia themselves and also lovers of Ethiopian food.

In other news, now that the new Disney princess paraphenalia has debuted, the princess who happens to have brown skin (finally), I am debating on whether to buy into the hype. And if so, I will be buying this nightgown which is just too cute.

On a much less Pollyanna note, I have been reading some adult adoptee blogs lately. These are difficult to read because as an adoptive parent - and parent in general - you are always fast-forwarding your child's life to that next phase and fearing when what/when/how the impact of facing her own adoption story hits home and she has to deal with the true loss she has experienced. Even though most of these bloggers love their adoptive parents, they use their blogs as a way of working out their feelings on the journey they are on to self-discovery. If you are an adoptive parent, I think we have a responsibility to read, learn, and listen to these voices. I HOPE that I can do some things better because of hearing these voices. My kids may never feel the way some of these adoptees do. But if perhaps I will be able to give them the space they need when and if they ever do need it.

Reading these always reminds me the importance of language, for example. I know it's annoying to some, all the PC this and that, all the time, everyone has a soapbox, blah, blah, blah... But listen to the voices of adult adoptees and you might think differently.

As a Christian who chose to adopt, I especially feel that I have to tread very carefully. Our language can be some of the most offensive to these adoptees. When we talk of God's leading, God's will, God's plan bringing us to the child who is meant to be ours... I have said all of these things at some point by the way... can be really ME-centric and not very child-centric and definitely not very wholistic. I do not believe that God made bad circumstances happen in someone's life on the other side of the earth so that my child could be raised with me in America. Has He brought amazing good from the bad in our world, yes. Does he still work in a world that is so broken that some people live in mansions and some live with not even a roof over their heads and only dirty water to drink? Yes. AND I do think He is calling some of us down here to adopt, obviously if you know me I am very proadoption. But adoption in and of itself is not a solution to the problems that create the need for adoption in the first place. I digress, oops, but back to the language question -- I feel such a burden to share with Sophie as she grows up how she came to be in our family, and to include the way our faith in the Lord played a part... but as we do so to be clear and as precise as possible with our language. Here's an example of an adult adoptee blogger who was dealing with this question in a post about "things I wish I'd known": *please don't go write hateful things on her blog after reading it. I don't know this person and I want to respect the person's right to share his or her views.*

That I didn't have to be confused by the myth that it must be God's will for me to lose my mother, family, identity, and original life so I could be "adopted". To gain my new family, life, love, and blessings. I grew up trying to force this idea into my head & heart, but it was completely in congruent with life, truth, and the adoptee's reality. I lived with extreme guilt and feelings of disloyalty, wondering how I could say I really loved my adoptive family if I had these feelings of loss and longing.

I was so relieved to finally "wake up" and realize that, like Joseph, when he was reunited with his original family, concluded, "What the ENEMY meant for evil (separation, loss), God has turned for good."

I didn't have to be fearful and distrusting of God anymore because it was impossible to understand (what adults had told me for their own benefit) how God PLANNED and WILLED for me to be adopted. He didn't orchestrate it.

It comforts me to know He didn't want me to lose my mother, family, identity so I could fill the role of someone else.

I don't have the answer to this one, but I wanted to share the journey I am on to do the best I possibly can by my precious child. I am so grateful to know a God who brings good from bad and beauty from ashes.

Family Update

Haven't posted in a while. Once I read on someone's blog about all the blogs they write in their heads... I totally relate to that. I'll be driving along and think of this thing I really want to put out there on my little blog and by the time I have a minute in front of computer, with no distractions, I am a total blank.

Maybe that's a good thing, though, because I'd rather be bouncing a ball with Sophie or rocking her to sleep, than writing interesting tidbits for others to read, I suppose...

Things going on of late are many. We've had a busy fall as usual, but it seems like even more than usual. One thing that's kept us busy was a marriage workshop we have been a part of. It's called Dynamic Marriages, lasts for nine weeks, with one meeting a week. There's a book to read, homework to do in a workbook, and lots and lots of discussions to have. It has been a lot to take on with everything else going on, but it has been worth the effort. We have learned so much about each other, especially the top "needs" each of us has. One thing he learned was that my top need is conversation. That means I like to talk, just to talk, not for a purpose or as a means to an end, just TO TALK. Crazy to some, but for me it's how I relate. And I learned some ways I could meet his needs better too. It's been a growing time for us. Thankful for our families who have kept Sophie on Thursday nights so we could go and do this. If you want to know more about this resource, here you go.

I think it's been a good foundation for us as we begin to think about his future job options. This has been a long time coming - he has been in school since the summer after we married nine years ago, working full time and going to school actually. In the last year or so he has been able to be a full time grad student (still with two part time jobs, however). And though he is not at the very end of his 90-hour masters yet, we are beginning to ask God to show us if it's time to take the plunge. So I'll ask you to pray, too, as we consider this question and seek His leading in our lives.

Our baby girl is not much of a baby anymore. She is really into her own baby doll now, talking her to softly, rocking her, changing her diaper, tickling her. She is so tender with her. She is into playing pretend anything - especially pretending that" there are alligators in here!", singing and dancing, and playing jokes on her mommy and daddy. She is so affectionate and we kiss and hug all the time. I can't believe we are coming up on her third birthday! She seems really tall so I am looking forward to seeing about that at her pediatrician visit in a few weeks. Her hair is SO long and just beautiful. I recently took her to the hair salon for the first time. There are some great pictures of that on my Facebook. Here's a link to it.

That's what's new...

Announcing Sadie Belle

As my terrible blogginess would have it, I have not posted pictures of my new little niece. She was born on August 18 just before midnight. We got to be there for her arrival (not the actual arrival, mind you, just in the waiting room).

Since I'm the big sister by five years, this was the first time I could remember Emily going through a big life thing before I have. I have never been pregnant and I have never had a newborn! It was really fun to learn and watch my little sister as she dealt with contractions and was calm as a cucumber and now as she mothers her new baby. She is doing an amazing job and it is coming quite naturally! We are so happy for Emily and Jarrod and baby Sadie Belle.

Here's some pics of her and us during the first few days of Sadie's life: (They live on a farm, hence all the farm pics)

Urban Peachy

Today we had a fun outing to the Farmer's Market downtown. Our friend Jesse goes most every weekend, so we accompanied her this time. We had a great time and bought really yummy peaches, some homemade bread, and some little grape yellow tomatoes.

But there was one thing Sophie didn't want to wait to eat. As we were strolling away from the peach farm table, I noticed Sophie had a peach half eaten in her hand. She had swiped a peach off the table! I remembered the time I accidentally wore a hat that I was trying on all the way out of Loehmann's and into the mall. and maybe all the way home (Mom, I can't remember!) My mom made me go back and apologize and hand back my stolen item. So I strolled on back to the Peach Man and told him her indiscretion. This time she was lucky because he was glad for her to have it. She finished the peach up as we got in the car apparently, because I asked her where her peach was and she said, "It's on the floor." Apparently she loved this not-yet-ripe peach, because this is all I picked up off the floor:

We had a great time in downtown and then on our way home happened upon the Cooper Young Festival... so we parked and looked around there for awhile. It was fun too! Tons of people, food, arts and crafts. I found these frames that I loved but did not purchase. You will like them too. http://www.simplysquared.blogspot.com/ I hope to buy some of their stuff at some point.

My thoughts today

Ever just get sick of yourself?

I have felt so convicted by reading the blog I mentioned yesterday, so much so that I felt I needed to journal (something I rarely do). I pulled out my journal and started reading a little bit of what I wrote last (in January) I was at a conference and had just heard a talk by Tony Campolo.

Here's what it said:

"Yesterday's messages are lingering in my head. Am thinking about how far, to what point am I willing to go to be Christ's ambassador? to bring peace in my piece of the world? to give my Self up for the cause of Christ?

It's like, if I think about it too long, You might give me a mission for something big You need me to do. I might have to dream or imagine what there is already for me to do right here in Memphis, in my neighborhood. Or somewhere else where I feel I am far less comfortable.

God, what are you asking me to do right now? There are things I know I am called to now and they are definitely enough to keep me busy, but am I shutting my ears to more? Help me to hear you if so."

The reason this entry makes me sick is that it reminds me of the cycle I am constantly caught in. I feel conviction, I feel fear, I am numb, I ignore and go back to normal life and decide that was just an extreme emotional me who is not in the real world.... then something happens, and I feel conviction... and the cycle repeats. Rarely do I act. Rarely do I search. Rarely do I take a risk. That can't be the Kingdom life I am called to, the upside-down life Jesus refers to in his Sermon on the Mount. I want to be a vessel that is used, and used up... theoretically. But when the rubber meets the road, I come up far, far from that. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but then I remember, to whom much is given, much is expected.

I am not sure why I feel drawn to share this on my public webspace. Perhaps it is because I need you people who know me and love me to remind of this, to remind me that I am called to more. That I have to open to eyes to whatever God may have in store for me and my family.

Doing something that matters

I came across this blog and I can't stop reading it.

This matters.